


And I Oops

by BFdubs_33_ff



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abuela onky speaks Spanish, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bisexual Male Character, Eddie and Buck have trauma thats needs to be talked about, Eddie having sexuality worries, Español | Spanish, Even though I speak very little Spanish, Ew, Fluff, Henrietta Wilson is a Queen, Insecurity, Just not the teacher, M/M, May incorporate some things of season 3B, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn Reveal, Spanish punctuation because that's cool, Spanish speaking abuela, Trying to make it sound real with my minimal Spanish ability, canon compliant up to 3x10, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23352478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BFdubs_33_ff/pseuds/BFdubs_33_ff
Summary: Buck and Eddie have been dancing around each other for goodness knows how long. So when they finally do get together, they decide to keep it a secret from the others for a while. That works, until an unfortunate accident puts them in a sticky situation.
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 30
Kudos: 156





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever written so please give me tips on how to improve. This is still ongoing and I do not know how many chapters I'll right. I'll try and update it on a Friday/Saturday BST. This is all kind of working towards an idea I had but it is probably going to be a few chapters until we see that. I hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

**Eddie**

The holidays had been special. It hadn't been great news for everyone in the 118 that they had to work on Christmas Day, especially for Eddie, with Christopher not taking the news very well. However, the team had been pleasantly surprised once they discovered that Athena had orchestrated a surprise Christmas dinner celebration for them all; as everyone apart from Buck was not feeling the magic of the holidays this year. Eddie noticed how Buck helped Athena set this up, and, though he was in no way prepared to admit what it might have been, there was a strange feeling down in his core when he learnt that Buck had helped to give everyone a happier Christmas than they had expected. This only intensified when he saw Buck help Christopher open the present that he had got him. A fire truck. Of course.

However, as all good times must come to an end and all that, soon the holidays became a distant blur and the dull, slow grind of January settled on the city of Los Angeles. For the most part, January was a lot more of a drag compared the manic of the festive season. Emergency calls are generally few and far between, resulting in more time to tidy up at the station and ensure a much higher standard of quality across the different aspects, be it stock levels or those maintenance etc. etc.

The same was felt for the other emergency services, Maddie had few calls and Athena spent more time at the desk then she would have liked - she wasn't on desk duty for any disciplinary reason. There simply weren't as many calls to go on.

These all culminated into one thing: everyone began falling into a rut. And ruts can be difficult to break.

Isn't January wonderful?

However, the increase of downtime did mean that Eddie had more time in his own head to ponder over several thoughts; worries about Christopher, trying to work out how to pay his taxes, or his ever-increasing feelings for Buck.

_Feelings?_ he thought. _No that can't be right._

He would have this flip flop debate with himself for several hours of his shifts - only once convincing himself of one point would he try and talk himself out of it. It was only when Buck started pre occupying his mind outside of work was when Eddie started seriously considering what he felt to his blond-haired best friend.

_Shit. I didn't think it would end up like this._

* * *

**Buck**

Unbeknownst to Eddie, Buck was having the exact same internal monologue. Only he has been having it for a good year or so longer. In fact, it was on the back burner of his mind throughout his entire relationship with Ali.

  
Hell, Buck has been contemplating that he feels something Eddie since he first laid eyes on him at the fire station. Buck's always known he's like both men and women, and he explored himself a lot in South America. But Eddie was different. He wasn't like the other guys. He wasn't like a lot of the other girls either; Buck was a player before he met Abby. It was this relationship that changed him. Before her, it was just any consenting human for casual, meaningless sex.

Buck's quite proud of how far he's changed these past three or so years.

He knows a lot of it is because of Bobby's attitude toward him, and for that he is extremely grateful.

Buck looks down at his phone on his coffee table, and just sends a quick text to Bobby, remembering to thank him for helping him in part be the man he is today.

Staring around his apartment, he takes in everything that happened the night before. Eddie and Christopher had come over for Chinese take away and video games. It was the first time Christopher had got to play one of his new games since he got it at Christmas. 

Yes, it was Minecraft - it's always Minecraft.

Having an idea, he goes through his contacts, and scrolls through until he finds the number he wants to see. Pressing 'call', he brings the phone to his ear and waits for the phone call to go through.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out for a bit?"

"Yeah, of course," Eddie replied, "Chris is with Abuela tonight so I can leave in about five minutes. If-if that's okay? of course, I don't wan-"

"Eddie, it's fine, I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay. See you then."

Buck hung up and took a deep breath. Walking over to the bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror, before splashing some cold water in his face to help him focus.

_Just don't mess anything up, Buckley,_ he thought.

If only it was that easy in practice.

* * *

**Eddie**

Eddie put his phone down and went to go freshen up, mentally scolding himself for feeling the need to do so. He was only going to see Buck. Buck, his best friend. There was no outstanding need to impress him, they were no longer having the who-has-the-bigger-penis contest that they started having when they first met. He had no valid reason for wanting to look good to try and woo Buck, apart from his undeniable crush on him. His mind had been flooding with thoughts since he had asked been asked to hang out at his.

Why was he asking him over again? They had just seen each other the night before and they still had until the next day when their next shift started; as there an underlying reason he wanted him there? Or is it because something is wrong and Buck wants to discuss it with Eddie? Needed his advice on life or relationships, or potentially about his family? Buck never spoke openly about his life before he joined the LAFD; and Eddie had always wondered what had happened in his past to lead to his current life situation, he just never got the courage up to ask before.

Though it is not known on the outside, Eddie is extremely analytical of almost every everyday occurrence that could happen. Potentially it's his paternal instinct, maybe it stems from his time in the forces, but on any level it's there. And it really becomes a nuisance when it comes to Buck.

Gathering his jacket, his phone, and his keys, Eddie heads towards the door to his house. Just before reaching the door, he takes a pause, stops and looks to the left; and toward the mirror hung up on the wall. Eddie is a tall guy, six foot, to be precise, fairly built and tan. He puts on his black zip-up jacket on top of his charcoal grey button-up, fixing his shirt brown hair before he leaves. One last glaze over the living room in case he’s forgotten anything with his hazel-brown eyes. With a sigh, he turns to the door and heads to his truck, locking the door behind him.

It was already seven thirty in the evening, and dark had crept over Los Angeles on this warm January night. There’s a slight breeze in the air, must be the Santa Anas, he thought; while walking over to his truck, before getting in and turning the key in the ignition.

Eddie lives only ten minutes away from Buck's apartment with little traffic, so in the day-to-day LA life it can take him up to thirty minutes. Although this evening there is a certain quiet of the usually bustling streets, even at this hour. He drove on almost a complete autopilot, having done this journey many times when Buck was on leave after the ladder truck. It was such a great help having Buck watch Christopher for him when he was in a pinch. Before he knew it, he was already parking outside Buck's apartment building.

Once he reached Buck's door, he waited in anticipation, took two quick, short breathes, and then knocked on the door. He tried to ignore the intense feeling he had in his stomach or how sweaty his palms had just become, trying not to drop the crate of beers he brought along, as he heard shuffling on the other side of the door. Then the door opened, and he found himself staring right into Buck's eyes, and his breath got caught in his throat for a minute.

“Hey,” said Buck, “come on in.”

“Yeah of course.” Eddie stepped into Buck's apartment and placed the crate of 6 beers on the table. He turned and looked at Buck, taking him all in, as he often finds himself doing now whenever he sees him, inside or outside of work.

Heart rate increasing slightly, Eddie opens two beers and slides one along the table, Buck catching it before taking a swig from the bottle. They shuffle their way along to the sofa, and sit in a comfortable silence, neither of them completely sure what to say to the other.

“So,” Eddie begins, “any particular reason why you asked me over?”

“Oh, no, nothing in particular,” Buck says.

Eddie, his overactive mind kicking in, does not believe what Buck says, but instead chooses to ignore it for the time being and focuses on the man in front of him.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“It’s nothing. Really"

“Why am I getting the feeling that I don’t believe you?” asked Buck.

“Well, I really think you’d have to ask yourself that.”

Eddie tried to calm himself down mentally, but if Buck was paying as much close attention to him as he was to Buck, well, then this may just get a bit awkward. Eddie’s palms had started clamming up and he felt a warm feeling creep along his cheeks as Buck's eyes drilled further holes into him. Unwilling to let anything slip, Eddie tried to change the subject of the conv-

“I just thought there was something you wanted to talk to me about.”

Ah. Right. Bad move there, Diaz.

“What are you talking about?” returns Buck, now his turn to blush. Eddie noted how the red colour creeped up from his neck and eventually reached his cheeks, and turned his face a bright shade of pink. However, with all that staring at Buck he soon felt self-conscious that Buck was also staring at him too. Without saying anything else, he downed the rest of his bottle and went to grab another one from the kitchen, without taking another look at Buck, still sat on the sofa.

* * *

**Buck**

God. This was not going well. Sure, Buck had no clue what he was doing when he invited Eddie over for the evening, but still. There was just some weird tension between them that had not been there the last few times they had been around each other. Well, Buck thought, this was the first time it had been just the two of them since that night in the kitchen, and they still had Christopher over in the living room. Settling on the fact that they just hadn’t had a lot of time alone together, Buck looked up again as Eddie returned with another beer, and hoped that they could try and start a normal flow of conversation going.

However, for some reason, there was still some awkward tension between them that was left unspoken. It hadn’t been this awkward the last time they had hung out together, surely?

Unable to resist the urge to fight back any longer, Buck finally plucked up the courage to address the elephant in the room.

“What is going on here?”

Startling Eddie out of his own thoughts, he turned to Buck with confusion.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I said; what is going on here? With us. We just seem so, I don’t know – something is just off.”

“I mean – well, yeah, I think you have a point there, Buck.”

“Is there something I’m missing?” Buck began, “I mean, have we had some, subconscious thought, or, moment between ourselves or?”

“I mean I know I’ve had some thoughts.”

“Really? What thoughts?”

Buck could see a flutter of panic behind Eddie’s eyes, as he began to stutter.

“Erm, I- um, I mean-"

“Okay, if you don’t want to share that’s fine,” Buck chuckled. “You know, you were right, with what you said earlier.”

“What was that?” asked Eddie.

“Well,” Buck began, “there was something that I wanted to talk to you about. I- there’s always been something I’ve wanted to talk to you about. I just haven’t had the courage to tell you before and so I’ve let it go unspoken, because I’ve been so scared of what your reaction would be and I-"

“Okay, Buck, you’re starting to scare me now. What is it?”

Here goes nothing.

“These last few months, or the last two years since you joined really, I’ve had, ugh, some, emotional battle, for the sake of a better term. And I had never wanted to unload this on you before because of everything that went on last year with Shannon, the fire truck, the tsunami and then the lawsuit and; there was never a right moment to say anything.”

“You know that you can tell me anything you want to, right?” said Eddie. The look in his eyes was one that Buck had trouble interpreting. It was like a combination of, worry, hope, concern. He did not know what that meant, but still, it was his turn to take the plunge.

“Eddie... I, have feelings for you.”

A beat.

Two beats.

Buck was worried that Eddie had not heard him correctly, or worse, he did and was trying to find a way to get out of this conversation.

“Hey, I know that this is a lot to take in and you don’t have to say anything but I just couldn’t keep it in another day.”

“No, it’s okay. I just never thought I would hear you say that to me.”

Buck really started feeling sad at this point, feeling like he had just pressured his best friend into something that he did not want.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I get that, and I get if you feel uncomfortable around me and you just want to go home-"

“I have feelings for you too,” Eddie interrupted.

“And, what?” Buck asked incredulously.

“I said, I have feelings for you too.”

Buck was not entirely sure he heard Eddie correctly again. He had never imagined that Eddie would ever have reciprocated his feelings. He agonised for so many nights over the way his heart fluttered whenever Eddie walked in the room, or how many tireless night he spent tossing and turning, trying to sleep, while his mind flooded with thoughts about everything to do with Eddie. His smile, his laugh, the way his eyes light up when someone mentions Christopher, or how his nose crinkles when he smiles. And now, he was processing the fact that his best friend, his best friend whom he is completely head over heels for, has feelings for him too, and he isn’t running away in fear.

“You do?” asked Buck.

“Yeah, I do.”

“I, I never thought you would feel the same. I was so worried that I would lose you, or worse, I would lose both you and Chris. I-I've never been more scared of anything before.”

“You don’t have to be scared anymore: you know that?” said Eddie, and with that, he enveloped his arms around Buck and pulled their bodies closer together, giving him a short, sweet, and tender kiss.

Buck simply closed his eyes against the warmth of Eddie’s body, and lay his head on his shoulder. He knew, deep down, that the pair of them are going to have to sit down and have a serious discussion about this in the upcoming moments. However, for this moment, all that was needed was their embrace, as Buck leant further into Eddie and closed his eyes, finally feeling peaceful.

_That went better than expected then._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the first chapter guys! Feel free to give me any tips so I can improve. Hopefully the next chapter will be out by next Saturday at the latest.


	2. Secrecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Eddie go to work trying to maintain the secrecy surrounding their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a lot longer and it had a slightly different layout to it than the first, but I may stick with this for the rest of them.
> 
> I am also looking for anyone interested in being a beta for this fic, let me know if you are interested in the comments.
> 
> Thank you for the support I got too, it's my first time posting on here so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

* * *

  
_Secrecy has always been a part of human society and communication. They highlight a fear or distrust among people that they have towards the general population. Fear of being prosecuted, or fear of being outed. Sometimes, you share a secret with someone close to you, or someone who you think will understand. The risk, of course, is the possibility that they do not, and instead share it with the world. This is why so many people choose to suffer in silence instead of open up to others. They are afraid of being judged or being rejected._

_There is always a risk associated with sharing a secret with another, as it is known to be much harder to keep, if you are always panicking about the other revealing all to others._

* * *

**Buck**

  
Fourteen weeks had passed since that evening in Buck's apartment. Fourteen weeks since both Buck and Eddie confessed their true feelings for the other. And fourteen weeks since they started sneaking around behind everyone else’s back.

Now, Buck knows that, at least for himself, the only reason he wanted to keep it a secret was to mess with the others. To see their reaction when the truth finally came to light after all this time. However, he also knew that for Eddie, it was still more difficult. It had not only been ten months since Shannon passed, and while it was easier for him to be with Buck, as they already had a connection and Shannon had wanted to divorce before she passed, he did not want to come across as cold hearted for having move on so quickly. Buck understood this concern, and so, they both decided to keep whatever they had as a secret, for a little while, until they were sure they were ready.

Buck was fine with that. There was less pressure without outside eyes glaring down upon them and their relationship, which meant they could simply focus on being together, just the two of them, in the moment. He knew that he had not felt this way about anyone else before, not even Abby, and he really did not want to mess this up.

So, rolled up Wednesday morning and the beginning of Buck's double shift – forty-eight hours at the firehouse. It was going to be gruelling, and exhausting, but he loved the job more than anything, and if the fact that he would get overtime pay for the second twenty-four hours, well than that didn’t hurt, did it?

Buck finished getting his duffel bag packed for the two days he was going to be at work. Uniform, toothbrush, and his copy of _1984_ by George Orwell, that he hadn’t finished reading in university and was determined to read properly one day.

With that, he grabbed his bag and made his way down the stairs that lead up to his elevated bedroom. Grabbing his keys off the dining table in front of him, he turned right on his heel and marched over to the door. Opening it and stepping outside, before letting the door close with a click. He locked up and then headed towards the elevator, hoping that this double shift was not going to be brutal.

Getting down to the garage, Buck found his jeep and got in, starting the engine. He made his way out of the garage and pulled into the hustling and bustling of LA traffic at eight o'clock on a Wednesday morning.

* * *

  
Buck pulled up to the firehouse a prompt fifteen minutes before his shift began at nine, the traffic in LA being as slow as usual. Turning the engine off, he climbed out of his jeep and saw Eddie pull up in his truck. He smiled as he saw his boyfriend get his back out of his truck. Buck made his way over to Eddie, grinning as he got closer to him.

“Hey,” he said, before checking that no one else is around to watch them. No one was, so he leans in and gives Eddie a chaste kiss on the lips, lingering enough to be able take in his scent, citrus, masked by his cologne. Only Buck could still smell Eddie’s natural scent under the after shave that Eddie wore every day.

“Hey, did you have a good night then last night?” asked Eddie.

Last night they had spent at their own separate houses so they could get some sleep for the earlier start of today. They spent their evening on a FaceTime call once Chris had been put to bed – they still hadn’t told them about their relationship – and when Buck woke this morning, he saw on his phone a picture of a sleeping Eddie. They had fallen asleep together on FaceTime.

“I did yeah, although, I had some pretty crap company,” Buck teased.

“Shut up, you adorable little goof.”

“Oh, _adorable_ , am I? Well, consider me flattered, Diaz.”

“Okay, I for one, would love to flirt with you the entire day, however we have to start our shift soon and we can’t have the others overhear us, can we?” said Eddie.

Sighing in agreement, Buck stepped away from Eddie, and together the two of them walked into the firehouse, side by side, but at a platonic distance. As usual, station one-eighteen was bustling with movement, with firefighters busy re-stocking equipment, checking the oil on the fire engine and washing the ambulance. They saw Hen and Chimney, who were on an earlier twenty-four-hour shift of midnight to midnight. They waved hello at them, before Buck and Eddie stepped into the locker room to change for their shift.

Once they were changed into their uniforms, they made their way up the stairs to the kitchen and moving area, and waited for Bobby to being the beginning of shift debrief to them. The other firefighters were already around waiting for their captain as well, so Buck and Eddie kept their distance to stop each other from driving them crazy.

“Morning,” Bobby greeted as he stepped out of his office.

“Morning, cap.”

“Morning.”

“Hiya, cap.”

Captain Bobby Nash was one of the most important figures in Buck's life. He was an excellent role model and a father figure, as he has learnt to deal with a massive burden and move on from it. Arguably, he is one of the best firehouse captains that the one-eighteen has ever seen. A tall man, just short of six foot, with cropped short brown hair and brown eyes, he looks extremely well for a man in his early fifties. Most of this is attributed to being a firefighter for all of his working life. But still, Bobby was a great paternal figure to all of his co-workers.

“Right, only a few notices, the toilet in the far right stall in the men's doesn’t work, so please just avoid that. Also, LAPD have been in touch to let us know that there has been an increase in homophobic attacks in the LA suburbs, so I would like to apologise if we experience any calls that may affect you personally or your friends and family.”

Buck hopes that Bobby did not just notice the flicker of his eyes to meet Eddie’s, both of them sharing a brief look of concern. He hopes that they do not need to be tackled by any wave of homophobia yet, that’s part of the reason they wanted to keep their relationship as secret as possible. It’s not the reaction of their friends and family – or really, their _family_ , that’s what the one-eighteen is to them – it is more the worry of outside eyes.

Buck has known he has liked men and women since he was in college. He is bisexual, and he is proud of that, but he has never felt that need to shout it out from the rooftops. Discreet, some might call it, but Buck doesn’t necessarily think that way. He doesn’t understand what the big deal is of everyone knowing who he loves, just as long as the person he is in love with knows it. He wants commitment, and their gender identity does not play a factor in that for him.

However, on the other hand there’s Eddie, who before he met Buck was adamant that he was straight. It seems weird to him, but he is exploring his sexuality at the age of thirty-three, and with having an eight-year-old son. Mainly because Eddie is still so unsure and is new to same-sex dating, they agreed to keep things separate between the two of them, so they can figure things out before Eddie has to worry about rejection from relatives. Not that either of them hopes that he would.

But still, the thought worries Buck to no end.

The voice of their captain snaps Buck right out of his thoughts: “Buck, Eddie, you are both on cleaning duty. The floor hasn’t had a chance to be mopped and I’m sure the lockers and cupboards could do with a dust.”

A small smile crept up Buck’s lips as he knew he would get the chance to work with Eddie for the morning. And he could see as well, a similar smile creeping across Eddie’s face too. However, this moment was short lived, as just as they were about to head down the stairs, the alarm went off.

* * *

  
_“Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?”_

_“Oh my God, this is so embarrassing. Hi, nine-one-one, my name is Erika.”_

_“Hi Erika, I’m Maddie, can you tell me what happened?”_

_“So, basically, I was in the bath... and then I kind of got stuck...”_

_“Stuck in the bath?”_

_“Well, I-I guess yeah...”_

_“How did you get stuck in the bath?”_

_“That’s the thing, it’s not really stuck in the bath... I’m stuck in the faucet.”_

_“I’m sorry, what?”_

_“My toe! My toe is stuck in the faucet!”_

* * *

  
There weren’t many people needed for this call out, so it was just Hen, Buck, and Eddie that attended it. They took the ambulance as it wasn’t anything major and there were only three of them, but if it went badly then they may need to transport to the hospital.

Eddie was driving the ambulance, as both Hen and Buck were doubled over laughing from hearing what the caller had done to grant a nine-one-one call. Hen had streams of tears coming out of her eyes before she even made it to the ambulance, and Buck only managed to egg her on. The pair of them had the same immature sense of humour, which was funny when they were on their own. However, Eddie was starting to find it hard to concentrate with both of them cackling in the back.

They reached the apartment building where the call was from, and got all the equipment out. Once they reached the apartment of the caller, they heard her screaming for help, and that she was in the bathroom. Buck walked in first, and really wasn’t prepared for the sight he was about to see next.

Lo and behold, there was a woman in her early-to-mid-twenties, wearing a red sweater in her bubble bath, gesticulating wildly to the big toe on her right foot. And, sure enough, it was stuck right in the water tap.

 _It’s going to be one of_ those _days_ , though Buck.

“Help! Help I can’t get it out!” shouted the woman.

“Okay, miss, how did this happen?” asked Hen.

“I- I saw a woman on TV get her toe stuck on the faucet, and so obviously I thought; ‘there is _no way_ that a toe could actually get stuck there.’ So, I tried it and, well-"

“You’re stuck,” said Eddie.

“Yeah- and please get me out quickly, I’m meant to be having a date show up any time now.”

“Erika? Are you here? Why is your door already open?” another female voice came from the apartment.

“Oh no, that’s her!” Erika exclaimed, her eyes growing wide, almost cartoonish like, as she made a panicked squeal and tried to cover her face with a towel. Buck felt bad, but he really had a hard time trying not to break into fits of laughter at the sight of this.

“How far is her toe stuck in there, Hen?” Eddie asked as Hen tried to assess the scene.

“About an inch, but it’s really wedged in there. It’s not going to come out on its own, we’re going to have to saw the faucet off.”

“Got it.”

Buck bent down to grab the power saw from the bag, and as he stood back up, he was greeted by a very worried brunette standing in the bathroom door frame. She gave him the once over, then found her date in the bathtub.

“What did you do?”

“I had an oopsie?”

And then the tension in the room broke. Both of them broke out into fits of laughter, at the pure absurdity of the situation. Buck tried to hold it in as well, but he couldn’t help it, and just like the two women, he too began laughing. This earned him a look of amusement and mock sternness from his boyfriend, which only encourage him to laugh more.

Eventually, they did all manage to calm down enough to safely operate the saw to break the tap. Once that was done, they managed to lube up the toe so it slid off effortlessly. Luckily, she hadn’t broken it, and, when they left, she still planned to go out on her date that evening.

“I think that was one of the weirdest and most amusing calls I’ve had since joining the LAFD...” Eddie mused.

“Not for me,” said Buck, “I once pulled a ringworm out of a guy’s butt cheek.”

“What?”

“Full moon, it’s crazy.”

Buck loved the look of complete shock and confusion on Eddie's face as he walked back to the ambulance. It was one of the best things about working with him.

* * *

  
The rest of the day went by in relative normality. The calls they received where not out of the ordinary. They returned and carried on with their routine tasks; and Buck really enjoyed getting to spend more time with his boyfriend.

And he thinks Eddie felt the same.

Once they had finished mopping, they had to re-wash the fire truck after a particularly messy incident at a hill slide in the LA suburbs. The truck got covered in mud and ruined all of Hen and Chimney's work from before – which to say it pissed them off would be an understatement. Things were going well with the wash until Buck decided to have a bit of fun, and well:

He poured a bucket of water over Eddie.

Now, Eddie did not expect this to happen when he started work that day, and it should be noted that Eddie is, or at least Buck thought he was, not that type of person to retaliate to childish teasing that easily. He also didn’t believe that Eddie would escalate it as quickly as he did either. He was very much mistaken about that one.

Before either of them new what was happening, they were both drenched in soapy, sudsy water, from head to toe, while everyone else had stopped to look at their antics.

“What... the hell?” came a shocked voice. It was Hen.

Hen was absolutely amazing in Buck's eyes, and they shared one of the most unique bonds out of anyone within the firehouse. She is a naturally maternal person, kind and comforting, always willing to lend a shoulder should you need it. Around five foot eight, five foot nine, always sporting a different pair of glasses, and with dark, ebony skin, she had it tough when she first joined the fire service. She still has tough moments today, but if anyone messes with her or her family and friends, you would deeply regret it. It’s this along with her exceptional paramedic capabilities that proved to all the haters that she was in no way a so called ‘quota hire'. And Buck loved that about her.

She was the only one who didn’t turn her back on Buck when he was fired by Bobby after his sex obsession. And she called him to help Athena with that home invasion on the very same day. Most importantly for Buck, she didn’t feel the need to take Bobby’s lead when Buck returned to work after the lawsuit, saying how she has and always will continue to “march to the beat of her own drum.” As such, Buck has never had a problem with her, she is so open and loveable as a person. He sometimes wishes that he can be as open as her, one day.

Right now, he remembers, she also loves to poke fun at her friends.

Hen is doubled down with laughter at the scene that Buck and Eddie had created in the middle of the station floor. “You guys look ridiculous!” she exclaims, as she tried to regain her composure. “Seriously, what is going on with you two?”

“I mean, when you look at Buck, don’t you also kind of just want to throw a wet sponge at his face?” said Eddie, with Buck reminding himself to bring that up with him when they are next alone together.

“Yes, all the time, but that doesn’t mean I do it.”

“Okay, okay, okay, can you all just stop bashing me for a moment?”

“No,” they chorused in unison.

“Erm, guys,” Chimney said as he walked over to them, “Bobby wants to see you both. In his office.” The shorter Asian man had a look in his eyes that conveyed; I do not envy the two of you, right now.

Releasing a sigh, the soaking pair resigned themselves to heading to the stairs, but just before they got out of reach, Hen bent down to pick up one of the sponges and-

“Oh, come on seriously?!”

“Sorry Buck, I had too.”

He could hear Eddie snicker beside him, so Buck retaliated by elbowing him in the ribs. “Shut up, you,” he whispered under his breath.

“Ah, you know you love it.”

In that moment, Buck realised that in fact he did.

* * *

  
In hindsight, that could have gone worse.

Sure, was Bobby mad at them fir creating a huge mess when they were meant to be cleaning the car? Yes. Were both Buck and Eddie officially reprimanded for wasting city time? Yes. Did Bobby find this whole situation thoroughly amusing.

Absolutely.

Once they had cleaned up and changed into dryer clothes, Buck and Eddie found themselves alone in the locker room. Eddie sat on the bench in the middle of the room, deep thought, with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, and Buck thought it was adorable.

“You’re cute when you’re thinking, do you know that?”

This snapped Eddie out of this thought bubble. “Huh, sorry what was that?”

“I said, you’re cute when you’re thinking.”

“Only when I’m thinking, shouldn’t I be cute all the time?” Eddie teased.

“Ha ha.” Buck enjoyed their humour and banter that they shared, which is part of the reason why he thinks they work so well as a couple. However, there was something nagging him at the back of his mind, about Eddie, and despite his better judgement, his curiosity got the better of him. “What’s on that mind of yours, then?” he asked Eddie.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do,” Buck said as he sat next to Eddie on the bench and took his hand in his, “what’s wrong?”

“Just, the usual worries, that’s all.”

“About us?”

“Partly, about everything that surrounds us. I still worry I won’t figure this out. Who I am. I’m thirty-three and I’m having a sexuality crisis, most people have this in their teens or early twenties, not when they’re a full-grown adult with an eight-year-old child.”

Buck new that this wasn’t the easiest on Eddie. Buck was so open that he didn’t care what the others thought of him, while Eddie was still so reserved. He had been married, to a woman, and until he had met Buck had also been sure that he was straight. Not only that, but be came from a Hispanic background, and Eddie feared of the rejection he might face from his Catholic grandparent. Buck knew Eddie liked him, and he like them being together, but also knew that was a completely different experience for the older man. He just hoped he knew the right things to day to ease his worries.

“Hey, look at me,” said Buck, “this may not be easy, and I don’t really know what to say because I’ve not been in your situation. But I do know this. I like you, Edmundo, I like you a lot. And that what we have is real. So, don’t worry about anyone else yet, we can tell them when we are ready to share. Let’s just focus on the two of us at the moment, because that is all that is important right now.”

Buck hears Eddie sniffle, and looks up to see his eyes are wet. He pulls him into a warm embrace, and they stay like that for a long while. Too long, in fact, which unfortunately they only realise when they notice someone else in the room.

“Aw, did you two kiss and make up?” Hen cooed at them.

Quickly, and awkwardly, Eddie and Buck separated and put two feet between themselves. Buck could feel a warmth creep up into his cheeks, and he looked across at Eddie, and was sure he could see the same thing happen to him.

“Erm, yeah, Eddie was just, erm, having a problem, and I helped him.”

“What’s your problem?”

“Well,” Eddie began, but, luckily, before he had to make up an excuse, he was saved by the bell.

* * *

  
_“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Help, it's my wife, she’s thirty-four weeks pregnant and she’s gone into labour!”_

_“What is your location sir?”_

_“9278 Morgan Avenue.”_

* * *

  
The one-eighteen arrived at the scene and saw the husband standing outside. He was a slightly short, Caucasian man in what Buck would say is his late-thirties, and he looked almost sick with stress.

“Over here, she’s in here.”

The team walked inside the bungalow, and found the woman lying on the sofa in the living room. She was screaming out in pain, and Buck noted that there was a puddle right next to her feet.

“Okay, Hen,” said Bobby, “Chimney, check her vitals, Buck, Eddie, let’s get her into a better position.”

They moved her from where she was on the sofa so that she was lying on her back on the floor. Hen had checked the baby's heart rate and was now checking the dilation.

“Vitals are good, cap,” said Chimney.

“Baby is in distress, she’s ten centimetres. We are going to have to deliver this baby now.”

“Okay, Hen you’re with me on the delivery,” says Bobby, turning to the woman’s husband, “are you going to be her birthing partner?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Hey, I’m with you, just breathe.”

Buck took a step back from the scene, he was no help with labour, the last time he had to help out with it on a call was only because it was just him and Bobby at the scene. He glanced at Eddie, and noted that he too had taken a step back, although that is more likely to make sure there weren’t too many people crowding around the patient.

_Maybe one day that will be Eddie and I having a baby._

Hang on, what?!

Buck didn’t realise he thought that until it was too late, and now the thought has already he sewn in his head. He wants it, all of it, with Eddie. It may have been a short time they have been together as a couple, but they had been dancing around each other for a year, almost. Those feelings had already grown before he admitted them. He hopes that, one day, they may get to walk down the aisle together, Buck could legally adopt Christopher, and maybe give him a brother or sister.

He is snapped out of this daydream as he hears a shout of concern from the father.

“What do you mean something’s not right?”

“The baby's breech, she’s going out bottom first and not head first,” said Hen, “we are going to have to transport her to the nearest hospital. She needs an emergency caesarean-section.”

“I’m sorry,” the woman says to her husband, “I’m so, so, sorry.”

“Hey, this isn’t your fault, you’re going to be fine. I’ll be right beh-"

“No, not this,” she begins, tears in her eyes, “the baby- the baby, isn’t yours... it’s your brother’s.”

The look on the poor guys face was heart-breaking, as he realised that he had been betrayed by the two people he loved most. They had to leave him there to get the mother to the hospital, but Buck knew that that was an example of one secret ruining someone’s life. He felt uneasy at this revelation as he walked out of the house with Eddie, and if he walked slightly closer than they would normally dare to, he didn’t care at this point.

* * *

  
As Friday morning came along, so too did the end of their shift. They were all exhausted from forty-eight hours on call, and Buck was looking forward to enjoying his four days off. Especially since he and Eddie had a date night Saturday.

“Hey Buck,” said Chimney, approaching him with his bag hanging off his shoulder, “what are you doing Saturday? Maddie and I are having a game night and we are wondering if everyone wants to come. Bobby, Athena, Hen, and Karen are coming, you up for it?”

“Um, well that’s very kind, thank you, but, I- I already have plans Saturday evening.”

“Oh, okay, that’s fine. What are you doing?”

 _Shit_ , he thought, _think fast, Evan_. He could just say that he was already having a lad’s night in with Eddie, but then they would just ask why they couldn’t go to the game night. Buck wanted to spend time alone with Eddie, where they could spend the evening watching films and cuddling on the sofa. Not playing another game of _Monopoly_ at Chimney’s apartment. Especially not after last time, he had to go to the hospital to get that hotel dislodged from his nose.

However, before Buck could think of an excuse, Eddie came round the corner of the fire truck they were stood next to, and he only saw Buck when he started talking. “Hey, Buck, we still on for me going round yours on Satur- oh...” Was all he got in before he saw Chimney standing there, now looking confused, and Buck’s quick ‘stop talking' gesture of swiping his hand across his neck.

“I mean, um, you... leaving, now?” Eddie stuttered.

“Okay, what’s going on?” asked Chimney.

“Well, I didn’t want to say, but... Eddie and I are... having a lad’s night in on Saturday and we didn’t want you to feel left out. Isn’t that right, Eddie?” Buck turned to look at his boyfriend to get him along with the lie.

“Oh yeah, yeah, we were just going to have a catch up and a few drinks, nothing special,” said Eddie.

“Well then, surely you can come over and hang out with all of us instead? If it’s nothing special.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Eddie said, quickly.

Buck coughed and gave him a wide-eyed look, but sputtered out an “of course" to Chimney before he got too suspicious.

“Great then, well, see you two tomorrow,” Chimney said as he walked off to his car. Buck waited until he was sure no one was in earshot before rounding on Eddie.

“What the hell, Eddie?” he half whispered, “you just gave up our date night, to hang out with three other _couples_.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I just panicked. But we haven’t hung out in so long, maybe it won’t be a total disaster?”

“Of course, it is going to be a total disaster, Eddie. We haven’t hung out with them all together since we, us, since _dos_ became _uno_.”

“Okay, so maybe you’re right,” Eddie began, “but we’ve managed this far keeping it a secret, so what’s one night going to hurt?”

“I just don’t want it to go wrong and out us before you’re ready.”

Eddie sighed, then met Buck's eyes with an intense and compassionate look. “Buck, it’s fine. We just have to make sure we act as platonically as possible. Alright?”

“Alright. But I had plans.”

“We can do them next time.”

“Okay, but just so you know this is your fault,” Buck said, chuckling slightly. He saw Eddie do the same.

“Deal.” Both of them turned to walk out of the station together, Buck swimming in his thoughts over all that could go wrong. He’s always been like that, a worry wart, his sister would call him. But when you’ve spent your teen years hiding from your old-school homophobic dad, you learn to worry for the worst possible outcome. His thoughts were interrupted when Eddie spoke up:

“I didn’t know you speak Spanish?”

“I worked as a bartender in South America for two years, I picked it up. Why do you ask?”

“I never guessed you would be the type of person to learn a second language.”

“Really, you too? Why does everyone think I’m just a big dumb puppy?”

Right as Buck had said that, he tripped over a fire hose that one of his colleagues had been organising on the floor by the exit. He felt his face flush with warmth in embarrassment as he regained his balance, ignoring his boyfriend’s laughter he could hear howling from beside him.

He was going to be mad at him, but when he saw Eddie’s face, he faltered on everything. _God, he has such a charm placed on me_ , Buck mused. Still, he had concerns about how the next thirty-six hours would go, with their plans for tomorrow night now changing totally.

In all honesty, he doesn’t know for how much longer he and Eddie can keep this secret going before they crack.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it, hope you enjoyed the chapter and the slightly different format of the chapter. Again, chapter three should be out by next Friday or Saturday.  
> And we will get to see the games night (definitely didn't add that in last minute and now need to reorganise what I had planned for the beginning of the chapter noooo)
> 
> Again, if you're interested in betaing please let me know. Hopefully see you guys next week with the third chapter.
> 
> Stay safe, stay well, stay indoors.


	3. Fun and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's game night with all the crew, and Buck and Eddie try to keep their relationship secret from all of them. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for sticking it out and waiting for a slightly longer update. I wanted a bit more of a buffer between writing and uploading, so I think my upload schedule will now be whenever i can. I have already started Chapter 4 so I know where to go off from here. And I've got Chapter 5 planned out.  
> How long will this fic go on for? I have no idea, but I have a five-part series sorted for this story so a long time maybe.  
> Also, apologies for potentially scarring Christopher in this scene...

* * *

**Eddie**

  
Eddie was going to be in the dog house. He had a feeling.

After all, it was technically his fault that they found themselves in this situation now. If he had been more careful, done another check to see who was standing by _before_ he opened his mouth. But, apparently, Eddie wasn’t as situationally aware as he thought he was.

Eddie had been getting ready for the evening that followed, it was currently six-forty-five in the evening, meaning Buck would be turning up to pick him up and taking him to Chimney's for all the fun and games they were going to have. _More like awkward small talk and relationship conversation,_ Eddie thought.

This was a concern that Buck had about tonight, apart from missing the date they had planned. It was also about being probed by his sister, by Hen, by Chimney, all of them, about how long it has been since he has been on a date. Or, how tragically and miserably single he is. He didn’t want Buck to put a spotlight on him, because while Eddie was sure that no one would ask him the same due to Shannon's passing, he couldn’t guarantee that for Buck.

He really hoped they could deflect as many of the questions as possible.

He finished getting dressed into a white shirt and blue denim jeans, and he applied his aftershave – the one that Buck had given him for Christmas. Looking back, he can clearly see the signs that Buck felt more for him than he would any other friend. Buying him presents that he knew he would like, offering to spend time with him at every other opportunity, with Christopher or without him, and also being willing to look after Chris when Eddie had no other option. Since they made up after the lawsuit, they had been closer than ever before.

He heard the knock at the door and walked through to answer it. He pulled it open and was greeted with Buck, holding a bottle of wine, and wearing a glass than savoury expression.

“I’m blaming you for this,” he says.

“Well hello to you, too.”

“Sorry,” said Buck, pulling in Eddie for a kiss. He loves it when they can just be themselves, when they can be touchy-feely, and domestic and romantic. The cool moments, like when they fall asleep watching the television, or when Eddie lays with his legs across Buck's lap. He's craved the affection and warmth from another person for so long, and he wished that he hadn’t messed up their plans. Buck pulled away from their kiss after what felt like hours, and Eddie almost whine at the absence.

“I’m still blaming you for this, Eds.”

“Okay, okay, I admit it, I screwed up. And I know you wanted us to have some time alone tonight, but we haven’t seen the others outside of work in months. Tonight will be a good chance to catch up with them.”

“Yeah, and I will admit I have missed us being a group. And I haven’t properly spoken to Maddie in a few weeks... it’s just, this was different to what it was four months ago, I like getting to be here with you.”

“Well, it will be fine. It’s one evening and they’re our family. Besides,” said Eddie, “you’re still coming back here later.” He took a step toward Buck, kicking his lips.

“Oh yeah?”

“Definitely, so I can get you here, alone,” Eddie practically growled.

Buck closed the gap that was left between the two of them, and pressed his lips to Eddie's. Eddie melted into Buck’s embrace and kissed him back, putting his hands on his waist to pull him closer to his body while Buck rested his hands-on Eddie’s neck. He moved his hands round and rubbed soothing circles into Buck’s lower back, still kissing him deeply.

Buck was the one who pulled away first, gasping heavily. They both stayed in each other’s arms while they caught their breath. Buck spoke first before Eddie could capture his lips again.

“Right, I know you want to carry on this now, but if we’re any later to turn up it’s only going to raise more questions,” he chuckled into Eddie's ear.

“Ugh, fine, let’s go,” said Eddie, leaning in for another quick kiss before he grabbed his keys and his wallet. “Let’s face the music and all that.”

* * *

  
Once they were in Eddie’s truck and out onto the roads of LA, they drove in comfortable silence on their way to Chimney's apartment building. Eddie rested his right hand on Buck’s inner thigh, which he knew Buck loved, for many a reason. Once they pulled up outside, Eddie killed the engine and they made their way up the elevator and to Chimney's door. They knocked and waited for a response.

Maddie opened the door and greeted them both with a big, warm hug.

“Buck, Eddie, you’re here! How have you been?”

“Yeah, alright, can’t believe I haven’t seen my sister in weeks.”

“Well, things have been busy for everyone, haven’t they?” said Eddie.

“Yeah,” said Maddie, “all our shifts have been off, we haven’t had the opportunity to get everyone together since Christmas. Come on inside, everyone’s here.”

 _Ah_ , thought Eddie, _let’s hope we’re not too late_. It was the one thing they had not wanted to do, arrive after everyone else. But still, they hadn’t seemed to have raised any eyebrows and them arriving together, or arriving later, or the fact that Buck’s shirt was ruffled from their snog earlier.

He hoped they didn’t notice that.

Everyone had already arrived by the time they got there. They walked past Maddie as she stood back to let them into the apartment, and they turned to the living area. Eddie saw Bobby, Athena, Chimney, Hen, and Karen, all sitting, socialising with drinks in their hands, while Maddie came over and placed a tray of bites on the coffee table.

“You two sure took your damn time,” Athena said teasingly.

“Well, you know how long Buck takes to get ready.” This earned Eddie a glare from Buck, and a rumble of light laughter from the others who were there.

“Yeah,” said Chimney, “and he can’t even iron out a shirt properly.” Chimney pointed at the creases down the front of Buck’s otherwise crisp salmon button-up. Buck looked down at the shirt, and a red blush creeped up his neck and into his cheek.

“Aw, can my baby brother still not iron his shirt?”

“N-no,” Buck stammered. Eddie could tell he was trying to think of an excuse that wasn’t they had been pressed up against each other minutes before they arrived.

“Hey, come on, I’m sure Buck just forgot a spot, it happens,” said Bobby, his cool, father-like tone effectively ending this discussion.

Eddie sat down next to Hen and Karen, and the three of them entered a conversation primarily about their kids, and how they were going along with the adoption paperwork.

“It’s a lot,” said Karen, “but we knew that when we adopted Denny, and it will be so worth it when we finally get a match.”

“That’s great you guys,” said Eddie, “I’m so happy for you both. So, what stage are you at now?”

“We’ve had the home visits and we have a social worker, our background checks are done, as are the ones for Karen’s parents. All that needs to be done now are references. Which reminds me...” Hen said while pulling out some papers from her bag, “...Karen and I have listed all of you to be our references. So, here is a list of some subjects that you can use when you get a phone call from social services.”

“Talking points for Henrietta and Karen?”

“Just some conversation starters.”

Eddie looked down at the sheet of paper and read a few of the reference points they had listed, _two, Henrietta is a qualified firefighter-paramedic with the Los Angeles Fire Department. Seven, Karen works from home so she will always be there to support any child_. However, it was number nineteen on the list that seemed to stand out to Eddie: _Nineteen, large family environment outside of the home, made up of close family friends and their kids._

Eddie smiles at that, and he realises that this is the big family environment he always wanted Christopher to grow up in, the same as his parents wanted in El Paso. But he _chose_ the life in LA, he _chose_ to join the LAFD, and he _chose_ to be in this family. He looked up at the faces around him, the faces he loved, and then he looked at Hen sat next to him, just a woman wanting to extend her own family.

He wished he would be in the same position as her one day.

“Do you mean these specific twenty-six conversation starters, Hen?” he asked.

“Karen made the list...”

“I’m very thorough. Now, read them and know them, or I turn ugly.”

“Too late,” said Buck. Karen threw her shoe at him in retaliation, and this garnered a chuckle from everyone else sat down.

“Right then, if we’re done pelting things at Buckaroo,” said Athena, “I believe Chimney and Buckette invited us over for some fun and games.”

“ _Buckette_?” Chimney whispered to Maddie as they stood up to go sort out the table. Maddie simply swatted his question of Athena's unusual nickname for her with a wave of her hand. The two returned with a game in hand, and Eddie visibly shuddered at the sight of the game that was chosen. Buck had noticed this and groaned when he saw it. Eddie was not looking forward to it. It wasn’t _Monopoly_.

It was _Pictionary_.

Now, most people would not have the same horrified reaction as Buck and Eddie did, but they had their reasons. Buck; presumably as Eddie thought, was because of the many Buckley family game nights he had endured over the years. Eddie’s reason was a bit more... _personal_ , and very much more embarrassing: Eddie can’t draw.

Not as in the ‘I’m bad at drawing but everyone can draw’, but rather that he physically cannot draw. Eddie has no artistic bones in his body. His brain just cannot find a way to portray anything coherently through the medium of art. His sisters would try and help him, say it was easy, just clear your mind and picture the thing you want to see envisioned on your page. But Eddie always struggled clearing his mind, ever since he was a child.

He didn’t know if it was anxiety, he didn’t want it to be anxiety. He has never seen anyone about it. For him, even though he knows it’s stupid and incorrect, it's a sign of weakness. Not something that should be proudly spoken about. Part of it he blames on his father, raising him to be a big strong Catholic man. But he knows he can’t just blame his upbringing for it, otherwise he would’ve sought help long ago.

So, naturally, Eddie doesn’t enjoy _Pictionary_.

The eight of them all gather round in a position that they can see the board that Maddie has set up in Chimney's front room. She then begins shuffling the cards and puts them back on the coffee table, before turning to Buck and saying; “it’s your turn first, baby bro!”

“Why do I have to go first?” he protested.

“Because you are the first person for it to go clockwise. Don’t complain just pick a card.”

Reluctantly, Buck picked a card with a prompt on it, and uncapped the pen.

“Right,” says Chimney, “your two minutes, starts... now!”

Buck drew a thin, long, stick – for want of a better word – that was around fifteen centimetres long. Before finishing it to make it a stick, he drew a head with bristles comi-

“Toothbrush!” Eddie yelled.

“You are correct,” said Buck, and Eddie if anyone else caught the wink aimed at him as Buck said that.

Next up was Athena, who, after reading her card, began with one dot at the bottom of the paper. She then drew one curved line above that, then another that was longer than the first, until she had three lines above the dot.

“Rain?” asked Bobby. Everyone turned around to the back to give him an incredulous look.

“In what world, is that rain?”

“May be weird rain?”

“No, of course not...”

“Girl, don't complain,” said Hen, “you married him.”

“Quiet Henrietta,” Athena retorted.

There were a few more seconds of silence before Chimney piped up with the correct answer: “Wi-Fi?”

“Correct!”

After that, they carried on in turns, each picking a card and having two minutes to draw the object as best they could. Karen tried to draw a chicken, but it ended up looking more like an eagle, while Hen managed to draw a very well detailed and accurate representation or the international space station – much to the amasement of everyone.

Eddie zoned out of the last few rounds mainly, and before he knew it, Bobby was passing him the marker and he was standing in front of the group. He looked down at his card and shuddered at how he was going to get this to come across.

_Abraham Lincoln._

Eddie wasn’t even sure how to get that, so instead of starting with a face or a top hat, he tried to work his way around it by putting the quote ‘four score and seven...’ in a speech bubble. Technically, it was cheating, but he wasn’t writing ‘the sixteenth president of the United States’ or anything more obvious.

He had barely started to attempt a drawing of his face, with his hand trembling, when Buck called out: “Abraham Lincoln!?”

Eddie paused, then looked at Buck and smiled. Of course, he got it before the others, not only did he know Eddie better than anyone, but he also had a deep love of history. He had told Eddie about how he took it as his major at university.

“You’re right.”

“How did _you_ get that?” asked Chimney.

“I like history. Took it as my major.”

“How come _I_ never knew this about you? I’m your _sister._ ”

“I kinda went off on my own during my college years, didn’t I?”

Sensing that there was something left unspoken between the two of them, Eddie tried to change the topic of the conversation, making a note to bring that up with Buck at a later time. 

Eddie and Chimney returned from the kitchen with another crate of beers. They began drinking them and resumed conversation, laughing and talking into the evening.

* * *

Hen and Karen were the first to leave. They had to get back to Denny as Karen’s parents couldn’t have him overnight. Bobby and Athena also used this as a chance to make their exit, as they were worried that leaving Harry and May alone for too long would result in the house engulfed in flames.

This left Eddie and Buck, and Maddie and Chimney for the latter portion of the evening. Still a couples’ evening, only one couple was known to the whole group however.

“I still can't believe I didn’t know about you being a history major.”

“Please, you’re just jealous that I got it when you didn’t.”

“Oh yeah? You wanna play that game?”

“Oh, I’m playing that game.”

Eddie didn’t like the sound of what was going to come next, when both Buck and Maddie said in unison:

“Buckley Poker Match!”

 _Oh no, not again_ , Eddie thought. He shared a look with Chimney, a look of, dread, and hope that a meteor my strike them right then and there so they do not have to proceed with this sudden turn in the evening.

* * *

Eddie and Chimney looked hesitantly and both Buck and Maddie, cards in their hands. Eddie feels scared as he takes in Maddie’s completely straight poker face, and then tries not to laugh as he sees Buck hiding his expression behind his cards.

 _Why is he so adorable_ , Eddie thinks, before trying not to blush in front of everyone.

“Oh, I know that smile,” says Buck, placing his cards face up on the table. “Pair of Aces.”

Maddie stops, grins and slowly reveals her cards face up on the table; “Flush.”

With that, a loud groan erupts from Buck as he mumbled something about it ‘not being fair' or that Maddie ‘clearly cheated'. She didn’t, Buck just doesn’t know how to play poker.

“Hey, man, come on, it’s not your sister’s fault that you don’t know how to play poker.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re her boyfriend, Chim.”

“Nuh uh, man, you suck at this.”

Eddie nearly burst out loud at the expression that remake garnered from Buck. He narrowed his eyes onto Eddie’s face and said: “Really, Eddie? Not helping.”

“He speaks the truth, little bro,” says Maddie, gloatingly, “just accept that I am the superior sibling and that is why I won. So, your little win was just a fluke earlier.”

“I won that fair and square,” Buck began.

“Besides, how did you get that anyway, Eddie was terrible.”

“Yeah I agree.”

“Gee, thanks guys, always there for my self-esteem, aren’t you?”

“Yeah guys, don’t be so hard on him, he’s not that terrible.”

“Sorry, Eddie. Buck’s right, it’s not as terrible as, how, terribly...”

“...tragically...”

“... _single_ , you are.”

Uh oh, this was Buck’s main concern for the evening. Conversation going on as to why he isn’t seeing anyone. And Eddie had inadvertently led them to this topic with his lack of art skills. And the fact that he is the reason they were at this evening in the first place but best not to dwell on that. At least Hen and Athena aren’t here right now, they may rip Buck to shreds.

“I am not _tragically_ single-"

“Yes, you are,” Maddie interjected.

“It has been, what, eleven _months_ since Ali left you, and still the only women you have been able to turn on since then are _Siri_ and _Alexa_.”

“Well, the voices are nice and soothing, and the rest of it I can take care of myself.”

 _Gross_.

Besides, Eddie’s pretty sure that Buck hasn’t been taking care of all of it by himself for the past couple of weeks.

“Well, are you going to ever find someone or am I never going to be able to become an Aunt?”

“I’m sure I will, but it’s tough being single and trying to find the right person, right Eds?”

_Son of a-_

“Yeah, it’s really tough,” says Eddie as he gives Buck the side eye, “I mean, the women that we see on the job throw themselves at us, which is not flattering despite what they might think. And then the men-"

“Hold up,” said Maddie, “men?”

“Oh,” was all Eddie had to say. “Yeah, um, has it never come up in conversation before?”

“Has what never come up in conversation before?” asked Chimney.

Buck gives him a look to convey; _are you sure you want to do this?_ And Eddie raises his chin slightly upwards in a response, yes.

Here goes nothing. 

“Well, over the past few months, I have been, _exploring_ , the possibility that... I may have not been as straight as I once thought I was before.”

Not one beat went before the reaction of “Oh okay" and “That’s fine" came from the two of them. It really wasn’t that big of a deal to them. For the first time since he had told Buck about his feelings, Eddie felt hope that he could one day fully announce his internal thought and struggle with the wider world. For now, though, maybe just quietly admitting curiosity is a good first step to take.

* * *

By the time they ended up leaving Maddie and Chimney it was already half past eleven, and sleep had started to beckon them. They said their goodbyes before heading out of the apartment and out to Eddie’s truck to start the drive back home.

“So, I’m guessing you weren’t anticipating to come out like that, or this soon?” Buck asked him halfway into the drive.

“I didn’t mean for it to slip up, I mean it has been on my mind for a while, I just, felt comfortable or...”

“And that’s okay, because it does show that these fears of coming out to us are unfounded. We love you no matter what, it isn’t important to us. Just take you time, and we will be there for you. I’ll be there for you.”

Eddie smiled to himself, and tried to concentrate on the road so that Buck couldn’t see just how mushy he made him. “Thank you,” he said, and before he could talk himself out of it, he took his right hand off the steering wheel and rested it on Buck’s inner thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Buck placed his hand in Eddie’s and kept them on his lap, as Eddie intervened their fingers. They remained like that the rest of the drive home.

Once they pulled up outside Eddie's house, they got out of the truck and got inside, locking the door behind them. Eddie turned around to see Buck grinning with a glint in his eye.

“What?” he asked, as Buck took a step closer.

“I’m pretty sure I recall you saying something earlier about, getting me here, _alone_...”

Eddie knew where this was going, but decided that before that he might as well try and have a bit of fun with this.

“Hmmm, now did I say that?” he teased.

“Oh, I’m sure you did, Diaz,” said Buck. He took another step towards Eddie, to the point where there was no space left between. He felt Buck's chest press into his body, as well as the door grim against his back, knowing he was in one of the best sandwiches he could imagine.

“Oh yeah, I may have said something like that, come to think of it. We were doing something earlier, weren’t we? Maybe you should jog my memory for me?”

“Perhaps I will.”

And with that, Buck closed the gap between their lips and Eddie was pulled into a long, deep kiss. He moved his hands up to grab Buck’s waist and pull him closer, wanting to eradicate any potential gap left between their two bodies. The speed and the intensity of the kiss accelerated, with Eddie now taking charge, Buck’s top lip in-between his own.

Moving his hands to Buck's hips, he used this to direct Buck over to the bedroom, kicking the door shut with his leg. Buck continued to explore Eddie’s neck and shoulders, until eventually his legs made contact with the bed and he went flying back; Eddie soon climbing on top of him. He leant back for a quick breath, and in that moment, Buck grabbed the hem of Eddie’s shirt and pulled it over his head.

Buck used his hands to massage the tightness in Eddie’s shoulders, working into the knots in his upper back, which cause Eddie to moan in pleasure. He pressed his lips against Buck’s once again, but only quickly this time. He tugged at Buck’s shirt, and began undoing the buttons before sliding it off his shoulders.

He pushed Buck back down into the mattress, and began sucking the spot of his neck that he knew Buck enjoyed. Buck mumbled against his lips “I’m here for you", a call back to their earlier conversation. Eddie knew what the implication of this once, and recaptured his face with his hands.

They carried on in this moment with just the two of them, for once free of any stress of Eddie’s identity crisis or concerns about having to keep quiet because of Christopher. He was still with his Abuela, which meant, that they could carry on, care free, long into the early hours of the morning.

* * *

Eddie loved these mornings. Cosy mornings, quiet. It was Sunday, and Chris stayed with Abuela the night before so that he could go to church, as he does every Sunday. Eddie may not be the most religious person, at all, but he does have a soft spot for the Catholic faith as it was that faith that raised him. And, not to forget, he likes Christopher to spend time with his great-grandmother – he knows he wished he could have met his great-grandparents.

Another plus, is that he gets to spend this time snuggling up with a naked Buck.

A very big plus.

Buck wasn’t awake yet, and Eddie turned to look at the time on his bed-side table, which read a quarter to ten. Buck was lying face down into a pillow, so Eddie placed his hand on his shoulder and absent-mindedly drew circles with his fingers. He heard a purr come from Buck in his sleep, and saw a smile creep up on his face, which only made Eddie carry on. He liked to sit and watch Buck sleep. He was so peaceful, quiet, after everything that he had been through this past year, all the trauma he suffered, when he was sleeping peacefully, Eddie wanted him to always remain that way, without the stress of day-to-day life.

A few minutes passed, and Buck's eyes eventually flickered open and he locked his gaze with Eddie. They stayed in their position for a while, content at being in each other’s arms, sharing their closeness as they so rarely get to do. Eddie knows that deep down, Buck longs for a time when he will get to openly show his affection for his boyfriend in public, the hand holding, quick kissed and touching his face. Eddie Hope’s that he gets comfortable enough for that rather quickly, because while Buck understands he’s not ready yet, Eddie doesn’t want to keep him waiting forever.

“Morning,” he whispered softly.

“Hey, Eds.”

“Sleep well?”

“Of course, I was with you.”

Eddie felt his heart swell at that sentence, the happiness overwhelming him. It shouldn’t be that one person makes you so happy, but he does. Buck does, make him that happy. He can finally be himself around Buck, they understand each other so well, and understand the trauma that both of them have gone through, and they share. And if Eddie wants to keep Buck just a little bit closer to him in the meantime, then he won’t let Buck twig on about that. Not yet, anyway.

The pair get up and shower, with them putting on some jogging bottoms but neither putting on a t shirt. Church service starts at half past ten, followed by Chris' Sunday school at eleven and then Abuela does lunch. So, he shouldn’t be back until two or three o'clock in the afternoon, which give Buck and Eddie plenty of time to be all mushy before they return.

Eddie knows he is going to have to tell Chris about their relationship soon, as keeping it a secret from his own son is a lot harder than keeping it a secret from their friends. He doesn’t see why anything should be a problem, Christopher loves Buck, and Buck to Christopher. He just wants to make sure he isn’t moving too fast after Shannon’s passing. It was a really rough time following her death for the two of them, as she had only been back in his life for such a short time – he wasn’t prepared to have to say goodbye again. Neither was Eddie.

Christopher will always be Eddie’s priority, no matter what else changes. He is grateful that Buck understands that, and also would prioritise Chris above all else. Eddie remembers what he said after the tsunami, the words that helped Buck learn to trust himself again after the events that happened; and that Eddie meant and still mean to this day: ‘I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too.’ 

He’s beginning to think that he really hit the jackpot with Buck. _Not that I would tell him that,_ he thinks, _his head is already far too huge._

They move into the kitchen and begin to make some lunch, pancakes. Well, more so Buck does all the work while Eddie just stands there looking pretty. He really is useless in the kitchen – he has only survived with Abuela, Pepa, Buck and Bobby making food for him and trying to teach him the basics.

Buck pours the batter into the frying pan when he says to Eddie, “Stop checking me out, Diaz. I’m trying to concentrate.”

“I’m sorry,” said Eddie, slapping Buck’s behind as he does so, “I’m just enjoying the view.”

Now if Eddie is correct in his reasoning, he’s going to enjoy what is about to come next.

Sure enough, Buck turns down the heat on the stove and moves the pan of it to cool down. They can worry about eating later. He turns on his heel and walks towards Eddie, putting one hand on the cupboard behind his head and pushing Eddie into the kitchen counter.

“God, you make me crazy,” says Buck.

Eddie kisses Buck first, and feels Buck start to kiss back. Buck’s other hand slides down to his waist, and Eddie presses his hands firmly on Buck’s chest. He feels the heat of his skin under his palms, and roams around, taking in his muscles on his back as well as his front.

Buck, wanting to pick up the pace, puts his hands on Eddie’s backside and hoists him up, Eddie instinctively wrapping his legs around his boyfriend. He deepens the kiss, now with a better angle from being perched up higher on Buck’s waist. Buck slowly begins to grind his hips against Eddie’s, the sexual tension almost boiling over between the pair, when he hears something. He would’ve shaken it off as nothing if it were not for what he heard a few seconds later:

—¡Eddie, somos dólares de la iglesia!

“Dad! Where are you?”

_Shit._

_Shit!_

Eddie and Buck break apart immediately, with Eddie crashing to the floor. Unfortunately, he also brings a pan from the counter down to the floor with a load crash.

—¿Edito? ¿Está todo bien?—, Eddie hears his Abuela say, accompanied by the ever louder sound of footsteps Christopher’s crutches against the wooden floor.

“Shit, shit, shit...” says Eddie, panicking, until he gets cut off by the kitchen door opening.

“Dad?” says Christopher as he walks through before noticing the other man in the room who is not his father. “Buck! What are you doing?”

“Um... well-"

—¡Oh, dios mío!

“And I oops?” said Buck.

Eddie knew this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation.

—Hola, Abuela—, Eddie began, “I didn’t know you were coming back early.” This is not going to be all fun and games.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I may have scarred Chris!
> 
> Guys I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a comment if you gave any suggestions for where you want this to go.  
> Next chapter is going to be a fun conversation with Isabel. And yes, she will primarily speak Spanish in the fic. I will try and keep the others speaking English to her so you understand what's happening. I know she doesn't speak Spanish much in the show but, this is my fic, so she will.
> 
> Next update? No idea, I think I have more than the 5k words planned for next chapter, so who knows. Also a potentially format change again in Chapter 5, where we follow someone else around for the day, and their mission to interfere with our Buddie.
> 
> As always guys, in these times I wish you and your families the best. Stay home, stay safe, stay indoors.


	4. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being caught by Isabel, Buck also begins to feel a little caught in his relationship. This isn't helped by everyone else who is feeling the same way, apparently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back. And honestly there is probably no upload schedule now because yolo. Also today (May 4th) is my birthday so bonus points for uploading.  
> I have most of Chapter 5 written just need to finish it, but I'll be writing chapter 6 before I publish it.  
> Sorry for all the erratic behaviour - but this chapter is a lot longer so enjoy!
> 
> And thanks to @red_to_black5 for giving me Eddie's previous job as a mechanic idea and for allowing me to use it. Seriously read Tethers if you haven't already it's amazing.

* * *

_The problem with lying and secrecy, is that eventually, the trail ends and people get caught. Look if you’re running from someone or something, eventually your actions catch up with you. That’s the same thing that happens with a trail of lies and secrets, half-truths, you run out of enough of them to keep it going._

_There are different ways to handle being caught, you can hold your hands up and admit it, or you can try and even risker move: trying lying your way out of the lie. If you decide on the latter, you better hope that they person you’re talking to is not an idiot._

_Because if they aren’t, then these revelations will end up being more painful that they need to be._

* * *

**Buck**

Buck hadn’t really moved a lot since, what just happened, happened. Everyone in the room kind of stood in a state of shock. Isabel was covering Christopher’s eyes, a shocked expression on her face, while the little bugger they all loved so much, was laughing at their misfortune. They still hadn’t hurried away to put on a shirt. Instead, Buck was half turned into Eddie’s side, and he could see Eddie’s eyes wide with shock. He knew they were going to have to answer Abuela's questions, just still unsure of whether he was going to have to find a lie or come clean. He thought he may as well try the first one.

“Well, abuela, the thing is...” _think Buckley think_ , “that, I had a crick in my neck and Eddie was just trying to get it out.”

Yep. He said that.

Buck’s not a good liar.

Eddie turned and gave him a look that said “are you serious?!” while Abuela sighed, told Christopher to go take his stuff to his room and then saying:

—Bueno... is ese el caso, ¿por qué sostenías a Eddie con las piernas alrededor de tu cintura? Y ¿por qué ambos están sin camisa?

“Better angle? Easier access?” Buck stumbled through, realising that the damage was already too far beyond repair.

—Niños, yo no nací ayer—, said Abuela, —dime la veridad.

“Abuela...

—Dime la veridad Edmundo, ¡ahora!

“Buck, let’s just, come clean, okay?”

“Okay,” said Buck. He knew the jig was up, and that they’d been caught. Eddie wouldn’t have wanted for this to come into the light so soon, but Abuela really wasn’t giving them another option.

—Abuela—, said Eddie, —Buck y yo, somos juntos. Buck es mi novio.

—¿Esta es la veridad, sí?

—Sí, Isabel—, said Buck.

—Y, ¿por cuanto tiempo?

“It’s been about, I don’t know, fourteen weeks,” said Eddie.

—¿Catorce semanas? ¡Sin decirme!

If Buck thought he was confused, this was nothing compared to the look Eddie was radiating.

“What do you-"

“I, have been waiting, for almost a _year_ , for you to get your head out of your backside, Edito. For you to finally admit your true feelings.”

“You knew? All this time?

—Sí.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because, you needed to learn to handle it for yourself. And really, there is no excuse for hiding the fact that you’re in a relationship with such a wonderful man who cares about us so much.” Buck felt his face get warm, as well as a nice warm gooey feeling that was growing in his chest as Abuela carried on speaking. “I’m so _proud_ of you, mi amor,” said Abuela, with that walking up to Eddie and giving him a big warm hug. Buck tried to fight back a laugh as Eddie was still looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

—Y Buck—, Abuela began, —yo, tú...

—Yo sé, Abuela—, said Buck, knowing what she was trying to say —los cuidare bien. Lo prometo.

—Gracias, Buck. Confío en ti—, said Abuela, before taking a step back towards the kitchen door. —Ahora, probablemente también deberías decirle a Christopher la verdad, ¿no?

“Ok, I’ll talk to him,” said Eddie, and with that, she exited the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone. Buck turned his head and took in Eddie’s facial expression – he still looked lost and confused as to what had happened.

“Are you okay?” he asked endearingly.

“Yeah, just, I think I just came out to my abuelita. And she was okay with it.”

“Of course, she’s okay with it Eddie, she loves you. You know your grandmother, and she is such a kind and compassionate person. She accepted Shannon back in even after everything that happened with her. Don’t be surprised that they love and accept you for who you are and for being happy just because of your own personal fears about the Catholic faith. I just want you to know that you have nothing to feel ashamed about.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Eddie found the words he wanted to say, “Thank you. For being you.” Eddie pulled Buck in to a warm embrace, and Buck just enjoyed holding Eddie in his arms, feeling all of his tension slip away as he relaxed into him. 

“Okay, we should probably tell Chris about us, shouldn’t we?”

“Hey, he's your kid, you decide when to tell him. But I would probably put a shirt on first, you don’t want to traumatised the poor kid anymore do you?”

“Please, it wasn’t that bad-"

“Would you want to see your father without his shirt on?”

Eddie recoiled at that sentence, a grimace appearing on his face. “Okay, you made your point. But did you _have_ to put that mental image in my head?”

“Now you know how Chris is feeling.”

Eddie chuckled, and turned out of the kitchen, first making his way to the bedroom to put on a t-shirt. Buck hung around in the bedroom, not wanting to impose himself on the father-son chat that needed to happen. Eddie needed to he the person to tell Christopher, and answer any of his questions.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked.

“I’m staying in here so you can talk to Christopher.”

“Buck, I know you love that boy as much as I do. I want you to be there with him, so he knows that you are here for him too.”

“You really want me there?” asked Buck. He wasn’t all that used to Eddie wanting him so involved with Christopher, not after the lawsuit, anyway. Their relationship was put under a lot of strain during that time, and Eddie had reacted in a way that he really shouldn’t have. Bobby had the right to be angry with Buck, and he was. But Eddie, Eddie's anger came out of nowhere. Sure, everyone was a little pissed off about it, but Hen and Chimney both realised that Buck was just trying to get back to work, even if he was a little misguided about his methods of doing so. Eddie was almost as angry – if not angrier – than he had been when he spoke about Shannon leaving.

Buck knew there was still a lot of stuff that he and Eddie needed to talk about, but, in the current moment, there was something else they needed to address. That conversation would have to remain unspoken for another day.

“Yeah, I really do,” said Eddie. He grabbed Buck's hand and dragged him out to the living room, where Christopher was sat waiting for them. If Buck smiled a little extra widely at the thought of being wanted present, well then he wouldn’t say that wasn’t the reason.

* * *

Their talk with Christopher went well. Really well, in fact. Not only was he perfectly okay with his Dad being in a relationship with a man, with his Buck, but he was really happy about it. Almost as if he had wanted it to happen for so long but both Buck and Eddie had been too stubborn to realise.

They do say that children pick up on the subtle things, and Buck is beginning to think that that’s correct.

“Chris, you know how much I loved your mum, and how I will always love her.”

“Of course, dad.”

“And you know how sometimes some men love other men and some women love other women, like Hen and Karen with Denny?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Well, what would you think if, I, had found someone else? And that they are a man, not a woman?”

Christopher’s eyes went huge and he exclaimed: “You and Buck are together?!”

“Yeah, buddy,” said Eddie, “Me and Buck are together. But we don’t want to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with.”

“Yeah, Chris, this is all based on how comfortable you are.”

Christopher seemed like he could positively burst from excitement, Buck had not seen him look this happy in months. He knew he had been in therapy after the tsunami – if only he hadn’t been stupid enough to sue the department then he would have been able to support Christopher more like he wanted to. Or at least, that’s what he told himself. He never forgot that day in the supermarket, when Eddie laid into him about being absent from their lives those weeks prior. _‘Do you know how much Christopher misses you?’_

Buck doesn’t think he will ever forgive himself for how he left them. They were going through a rough patch, they needed all the support they could get, and he abounded them. Buck left his boys alone, and after all the instability they had gone through the past year, that was a shitty thing to do.

So, for Christopher to he so happy at the news that he and Eddie were dating, well, Buck wasn’t going to lie and say that his heart did swell with a warmth that he hasn’t experienced before. He finally felt, _found_.

Christopher made a grabby motion with his arms to Buck, so Buck picked him up and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you, Buck,” Christopher whispered in his ears, bringing tears to Buck's eyes. He stood up with Chris still in his arms, and he felt Eddie wrap around both of them, nestling his head into the crook of Buck's neck.

This is what he had wanted for so long. The intimacy of this family, the warmth and love that it brought. A moment of calm, before the storm.

* * *

Buck went home to his apartment after their chat with Christopher as he didn’t want to overstay his welcome. He wasn’t meant to be there when he got back anyway, as to not raise suspicion about their closeness. He guesses that is partly out of the window now.

Tuesday evening comes around and marks Buck's first twenty-four-hour night shift of two, that week. They wouldn’t finish until the next evening, and everyone hated those shifts the most. Everyone else always hates the so-called graveyard shifts, but he has never had a problem with them. He’s always been a night owl, preferring to stay up late and sleep till noon, finding that during these hours his mind is most productive.

This is the very opposite to his loving boyfriend, and so here he finds himself having to rally him to get changed at the fire house.

“I don’t want to.”

“Eddie-"

“It’s too late, why are these shifts always so _late_...”

“Eddie, you need to get changed.”

“I’ve been up all of this afternoon trying to settle Christopher, he’s been having trouble at school with PE.”

“Well, we always knew he would struggle with it because of his CP. Have you spoken to him about it?”

“What, about his cerebral palsy? He already knows he has it.”

“Yes, but have you spoken to him about how it will be different for him to try and do what the other kids do? What adaptations he will have to use-"

“I don't want him to have to go through this now,” Eddie interrupted, “I just want him to still be a kid, he doesn’t need to know about how his life will he tougher as he becomes an adult.”

“Eddie,” said Buck sincerely, “you are doing an amazing job with Chris, and you’re not limiting him to do things just because he has CP. But, if he doesn’t know now that he will have to adapt in this world, it will be so much harder for him to take it in later, especially if it’s not being found out by you.”

“Maybe, I’ll see about it on our days off. I need time to work out what to say.”

“Of course, you can’t just wing something like this. But Chris will be okay. I know that.”

“How do you know that, Buck?”

“Because he has you,” said Buck, sincerely. Eddie looked very touched by that, and gave Buck a hug.

“Thank you,” Eddie whispered in his ear.

“No problem, and remember, you always have me.”

“I thought you were meant to be comforting me not terrifying me,” Eddie joked.

“Hey! That’s not very-"

“Diaz! Buckley! Why aren’t you guys ready yet?”

The two of them quickly separated at the sound of their captain’s voice, as Buck turned to face Bobby, who was standing in the doorway of the locker room.

“Sorry, cap, we were just-"

“It’s okay, Buck was trying to sort me out. We were discussing Christopher’s problems at school.”

Bobby gave the pair of them a look over, sensing that there was something else going on, but Buck knew that he was too polite to say anything. Sure enough, he said: “Okay, just get dressed, Eddie, upstairs in five,” and walked out of the locker room, headed for upstairs.

Eddie turned to Buck and tried to give him another hug and a ‘thank you’, but Buck pushed him back. “Get dressed, Eddie,” he said, “I'll be upstairs waiting.” And with that, he turned on his heel and walked out the door, ignoring the point that his boyfriend had given him when he rejected the hug. He always tries to avoid looking at him when that happens, because he knows that he isn’t strong enough to deal with it.

_Damn, that man surely has worked his way into my heart._

* * *

Eddie did finally get changed, although he gave Buck a bit of the cold shoulder when he got up there. Buck presumed that it was due to making him get dressed, and that it is past ten o'clock and they won't go home until ten o'clock the next evening, at least. He also presumed that Eddie's coldness would not last long.

It didn’t.

If Buck can’t resist Eddie's pouting, then Eddie definitely cannot resist Buck's goofy child-like personality.

He gets back to his usual self, if not a hit quieter because of the time, within about ten minutes of their task – serving the ambulance engine. Buck doesn’t know awfully much about engines and cars in general, so he just hands Eddie the tools whenever he needs them. Eddie, on the other hand, knows a lot about internal combustion engines. His dad owned a mechanic’s in El Paso, and Eddie worked there during his late teenage years before he enlisted in the army.

“Pass me the spanner?”

Buck looked around to see where the spanner was, before realising that he doesn’t actually know what it looks like.

“Eddie...?”

“Long metal thing with two teeth and a screw at the head,” said Eddie.

“Oh, this one,” said Buck, as we passed the spanner over to Eddie, who was underneath the engine on a creeper seat underneath it.

“Just need to tighten the belt, screwdriver?”

“Screwdriver.”

Eddie tightened whatever it was that needed tightening, then slid out from underneath the ambulance engine and stood next to it, the bonnet open. He chucked Buck the keys and said: “Can you turn the engine on when I say?”

Buck got behind the wheel, and when Eddie gave him the signal, he turned the key in the ignition. Luckily, it worked first time, and the low tick of the diesel engine spurred into life. Buck switched off then engine and Eddie pit the bonnet back down.

“All good, all good, ambulance working smoothly...”

“God, I love it when you go macho mechanic on me,” said Buck, before realising what he said. His eyes went wide as Eddie turned to him with a smirk.

“Really? Covered in grease engine oil does something for you?”

“Hmm you know you already do a lot for me, Diaz,” Buck growled. He smirked at the red blush growing on Eddie’s cheeks. “You feeling a little hot under the collar.”

“Okay, this is definitely not safe for work.”

As if on cue, at the reminder that they are, still on fact at work, the siren went off, and everyone rose to attention.

“Suit up, everybody,” said Bobby, coming up in-between the fire engine and fire truck. Buck scrambled into his jacket and trousers, before running to the engine. He came to a stop next to Eddie, who held the door open for him.

“After you.”

“Thank you,” said Buck, climbing aboard. Eddie took the seat next to him, and let their legs brush together as they started moving off.

* * *

_“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Oh my God, oh- oh God, he-he-"_

_“Ma'am, can you tell me what happened?”_

_“It’s, my husband, and my ex-husband, they... were fighting, it was our wedding day and they, fell of the balcony of the hotel. They’re caught on one of the metal fence posts.”_

_“What do you mean by ‘caught'?”_

_“They fell on top of it, it’s gone right through them!”_

* * *

The engine pulled into the large gravel driveway of the hotel, and they could see a commotion gathering outside the hotel doors. One of the staff came over to greet them as they arrived at the scene.

“Are you in charge here?” Bobby asked her.

“Yeah, I’m the duty manager on shift, I saw them fall right outside the reception window.”

“What happened?”

“Apparently the two were arguing upstairs in the honeymoon suite, four storeys up. A man that isn’t happy about his ex-wife moving on, he isn’t checked in. He wasn’t even meant to be here. We had reports of shouting and banging – he broke down the door, and the next thing we knew, they had fallen.”

The five of them walked up to wear the incident happened, on a fence post right next to the main door.

“LAFD, can you give us some room, please.”

Once everyone had taken a step back, was only then that Buck could see what had happened. There were two men impaled by a black metal pole, right through their chests. It was almost comparable as to conjoined twins joined at the chest, as neither of them could move apart.

Hen and Chimney moved down to assess how deep the spike had hit them, and where it had penetrated their chests. A worried looking woman stood to the side of them, tear stains marking her face, phone still in hand. Buck deduced that she was the man’s wife.

“Hey,” says Buck, “are you the one who called?”

She looked very shaken up as she replied: “Ye-yeah, I-I... called them... the lady said... oh my god he just barged in and, they fell...”

“It’s going to be alright; we are going to help them get out, can you tell me your name?”

“K-Katherine.”

“Okay, and can you tell us their names as well?”

“My husband is Daniel, he-he’s on the bottom. My ex, Adrian is on top of him- oh my God please help them, please.”

“Don’t worry ma'am, we are going to do our best and they are going to be absolutely fine.”

“Hi Daniel, Adrian,” said Hen, as she got down on her knees to further inspect them. “I’m just going to have a look and see where this pole has gone through, okay?”

They got a mumble of a reply from both of them, as Eddie was checking their vitals.

“Pupillary response is good, Daniel is breathing a little unevenly, it might have nicked his lung.”

“Yeah,” said Hen, “this spike seems to have gone straight though the middle of Adrian's chest, I think luckily it missed most of the internal organs. Given the fact that they’re slightly off centre he probably hit a lung.”

“Can, can you get them out?” Asked Katherine, worry in her voice.

“I don’t think we can separate them here, it will cause too much internal haemorrhaging,” said Chimney. “Cap, we’re going to have to transport them with this.”

“Okay, Buck, get the saw.”

“On it, cap.”

Buck turned back to the truck to grab the power saw, as he saw Bobby bend down to talk to the two men, most likely to explain to then what was about to happen. He knows the adrenalin is keeping him going, because without it he would have passed out at the sight of them. This is arguably one of the most gruesome calls he has been on.

Regaining his composure, he grabs the saw and returns to the scene. They’ve managed to prop up the man on the underneath so that there is enough room to get the saw in to cut through the pole, although it is tight to say the least. Buck knows he will have to take this one extra cautiously, while being as quick as possible. Neither of these guys have long.

It’s difficult to keep them slightly propped up, as the weight of Adrian is pressing down heavily on Daniel. Both of them only looked to be in their thirties, it’s horrible how such a sudden twist could have ramifications for these young men.

As Buck saws through the metal, more sirens sound and Athena's police car rolls up. She will have to take a statement to figure out how this happened. He broke off the pipe and Bobby and Chimney were there ready to take support of most of their weight.

“Can we get a stretcher over here, please?”

“Okay, Buck, Eddie, grab on,” said Bobby, as Buck and Eddie both found somewhere to grab a hold of so they could lift them up.

“On my count. One, two, three!”

They hoisted the men up on to the stretcher, and Hen and Chimney wheeled them toward the ambulance.

“Okay, stay with us boys, you’re doing great...”

Once they were loaded up, the ambulance drove of to the hospital; and Buck felt comforted that they had done what they needed to do. It was out of their hands now. He saw Athena approach Bobby, Eddie, and himself, and gave a weak smile.

“Hey, Athena,” said Buck.

“Hey, everybody.”

“How you’ve been?” asked Bobby, gently kissing her temple as he pulled her into his side.

“Well, my shift was going alright until I got the call about this.”

“Yeah,” said Eddie, “I think we're all in the same boat on that one. It’s awful.”

“Do you know anything else, from the statement you took?”

“Not much,” said Athena, turning to her husband, “the same as what we heard. Other guests heard banging and shouting from upstairs, followed by the door being broken down. I spoke to the wife. They were in bed, once he broke in, he lunged at the husband.”

“Oh my God, why would he do such a thing?”

“She left him seven years ago. Drug problem. He refused to go to rehab, and he never got over her. Apparently her own sister told him where the wedding was.”

“Wait, hold up,” said Buck, very confused. “Her sister invites her ex over to her wedding, to break up the new marriage. Does she think she is better with the old guy, or does she hate her sister?”

“Potentially, any of them. But I spoke to the bride's mother, and she said this. Apparently, Katherine's sister had been pining for Daniel for three years before they got together – he didn’t pick up on the signs. Either way, this case is going to cause me one headache after another, I can feel it coming.”

“Take care, I’ll see you at home,” said Bobby, before the three of them all turned back to climb into the fire engine – heading back to the station.

* * *

“Be honest with me.”

“Huh?”

“I said: be honest with me,” Buck repeats to Eddie. The pair of them are alone in the firehouse kitchen, and there was one thing from Sunday that he wanted to get off his chest.

“What about?” asked Eddie, his brows knitting together in confusion and wonder.

“When we were, _caught_ , you know... how badly were you fearing a rejection.” Eddie’s face turns sombre and down, but Buck continues. “I know, this may not be comfortable for you and you may not want to talk about it, but... I still worry about you. You haven’t had long to process everything. You can talk to me.”

Eddie sighs, his shoulders tense, with a light reflecting of his eyes from the window. The sun had risen an hour ago, and they had tried to sleep, but after what happened on the call the night before, Buck decided it was best to try coffee and stay awake. He found that Eddie had the same thought as well.

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“I was petrified,” said Eddie. “It’s like, I... it isn’t spoken about, in my household. It’s never something that we think may happen to us. And that makes it sound ridiculous and exaggerated but, in our faith, there are still a lot of prejudiced arseholes spewing filth. And after everything I went through in my twenties- I just...” he takes a breath before looking down at his shoes. Buck worries that he is being too harsh on himself – heck, Buck knows that Eddie is being too harsh on himself.

Hut he knows what it’s like. In both aspects. To question your sexuality, and to be caught while exploring it. The latter is a story for another time.

“I never thought that something that could make me feel so happy, warm, secure, could also make me feel so confused and lost at the same time,” Eddie wanted out, still not looking up at Buck at all.

“Eddie...”

Eddie’s eyes still remained fixed on the floor, refusing to meet Buck’s.

“Hey, Eds, look at me, babe...”

Eddie hesitantly looks up at Buck. He looks so small, so Buck tries to comfort him with a warming smile.

“I know this is tough. But I get it. I really get how annoying this is, working it all out. But if you don’t tell me how much this frustrates you, then I can’t help you. And I want to help you, Eddie. I want all of this, with you.”

“Buck... I’m sorry, I wish I wasn’t so confused about it... I know that I want you, I just don’t know about, other men still.”

“And that’s fine. I mean, I don’t even think I want you to be thinking about other men,” he said, very tongue in cheek. “Look, you’ve said to Maddie and Chimney that you are exploring it, and while that came across by accident you admitted it, and that is so brave. And you didn’t come up with an excuse with your Abuela, you told her the truth. I don’t care if you’re not one hundred per cent certain yet, I will be there to support you no matter what.”

Buck reached up and pulled Eddie’s face upwards, rubbing his thumb on his chin. He could see the glint of tears forming in his eyes, and was resisting every urge he had to wipe them off himself too, but he knew they needed to be more platonic in case someone walked in. He dropped his hand back down to his side as Eddie said:

“Thank you. I’m glad I have you.”

“You’ll always have me, Eddie. Always.”

They took a step away from each other as they heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Chimney, Hen, and Bobby, were coming to for their breakfast.

“You two are up early,” Bobby noted.

“Couldn’t sleep, there’s coffee, though.”

The test of them gathered round and poured themselves some mugs of coffee, and a general chatter resumed around them as Bobby turned on the pan to make some breakfast.

* * *

The early morning hours were very quiet, unusually so. They hadn’t received any calls since the incident at the hotel the night prior, so Buck had spent most of that time working out in the gym, clearing his head. He was bench pressing some weights when he heard a rustle over at the entrance to the gym. Huck sat up and was greeted by the fatherly figure of the firehouse captain, Bobby Nash.

Both of them remained still, looking at the other for almost a minute. Buck could sense that there was something on Bobby's mind as he hadn’t said anything, but hadn’t left either. He also seemed to have some look of deep ponder on his face.

“Hey, Bobby,” said Buck, “are you... okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I was just – seeing how you were doing.”

“Me? I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that you and Eddie couldn’t sleep that well after that call and I’m just trying to make sure that it isn’t affecting you too badly.”

“I’m fine, Bobby, really. Look I know it was tough on seeing those guys impaled but it’s what we do. And I know that with everything I’ve been through in the past year you’re worried about any triggers, but I’m fine. I just want to do my job.”

“Yes, Buck,” Bobby sighed, “but, I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide things from us. You went through a lot last year, and you haven’t really spoken about the tsunami with anyone. And I know I shouldn’t have kept you from returning to work I just – I didn’t want to see you get hurt again. Not so soon.”

Buck blinked, and he took – or at least tried to – all of that in before saying: “Why did you stop me?”

“Because I care, arguably too much,” Bobby said heavily. “You were on blood thinners and any minor injury could have gone a lot worse, and I didn’t want that. I still don’t. I only realised that you could still be safe on the job after the guy in the windshield. I’m just sorry I didn’t do anything sooner. It wasn’t my choice to make.”

“Bobby, look, it’s fine-"

“It’s not. I’m your captain and I should have been there for you,” his captain said with sadness in his eyes. “Look, I don’t want you to think that you can’t trust me, and I don’t want you to suffer alone anymore. So, next time, if you’re going through anything, please just tell me.”

“Okay, I will,” said Buck. He won’t lie, it was nice, if not unexpected, to recover that closure based on the whole lawsuit. It helped to ease that pain that Buck still sometimes felt when he looked back on the last eight months. He smiled at Bobby, and moved on to say something else, but he didn’t know what to say. Bobby reciprocated the smile, before turning out of the gym.

Buck smiled to the empty room. He knew that it wasn’t fixing everything, but it helped.

* * *

_“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Stefan's gone!”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“He's hanging out of the plane!”_

* * *

The one-eighteen arrived at the air field, still not entirely sure if they had heard the call over the radio correctly. Sure enough, as they got out of the fire engine, Buck saw with his own eyes a figure of a man, hanging out from the bottom of a hanger aeroplane.

 _That is surely terrifying,_ he thought.

Bobby got some binoculars so he could better see what was happening up in the sky. “Looks like his parachute is snagged on something,” he said' “he's caught underneath the aeroplane.”

“He hasn’t said anything on the radio,” Eddie commented, “he might not be conscious.”

“Let’s hope not, for his sake.”

Buck couldn’t believe how awful that would be if he were in that position, and if he were awake throughout that ordeal. _Poor guy, he probably didn’t expect this to happen when he woke up to go to work today._

“He's being buffeted by turbulence under the plane,” said Hen, “we're going to need to treat him for exposure.”

Buck realised something – well, two things – with Hen discussing about treating the guy caught on that plane. One – that he is going to re-evaluate his fear of flying after this, and two – how on earth are they going to get him down?

“Hey, we still haven’t talked about how we’re getting him _down_.”

Bobby seemed to be formulating a plan in his as he turned to Buck and asked: “How’s the leg?”

Buck’s left leg – the one that had been crushed by the fire truck almost a year ago by now. He'd been fitted with a titanium rod and four cobalt screws, but that hadn’t been the worst of it. As he had pushed himself too hard in his training to become recertified at the LAFD, he had wound up with clotting, one in his lungs, two in his legs. He had been put on blood thinners to stop the clots, but that meant he became a liability for the fire department for him to return to active duty – which lead to him suing for wrongful termination. In short, this turned into one crisis after the other and Buck had been no lower in his life then how he felt during those seven or eight months.

However, there was improvement. They had removed the screws a couple weeks ago as the tissue had repaired itself for them not to be necessary. It meant that after the crush injury, his leg was finally getting back to where it was before. Although, he still wasn’t sure completely, he had to go back to the doctor in a few days.

“Screws are out,” he said to Bobby, “feeling great.”

“Alright,” said Bobby, before speaking into his radio, “dispatch, this is Captain one-eighteen, can you get me in that pilot’s ear?”

“You have a plan, cap?” asked Hen.

“I think so.”

To any outsider, it would sound like this plan is absolutely insane. Crazy, even. Not only would it involve flying the plane low enough that they would be able to try and detach the parachute to get him down, but it also involved Buck and Eddie standing on top of a moving fire truck. 

The tie their ropes to both the rear and front bumper and drag it over the roof, so there is a string line to connect with while they’re on top of the truck. They climb up to the top and harness themselves in, testing the sturdiness of the ropes before they start moving.

“Okay, cap, we're all set,” Eddie days over the radio.

They feel a jolt of movement and suddenly the truck starts moving off to get in position on the runaway. Buck holds the rope in one hand and grabs Eddie’s hand with the other, and before they move too quick, kisses him on the cheek.

“Don’t do anything reckless.”

“Buck, I think I should be saying that to you, not the other way around.”

“Fair point,” said Buck, much to Eddie’s delightful smirk.

The truck takes off and climbs to seventy miles per hour on the runway, when Buck sees the aeroplane lining up to get lower to the ground.

“Okay, cap, we see him,” Buck said, “coming in hot behind us.”

The aeroplane continues a steady descent, and both Buck and Eddie stand to try and reach up to grab the guy dangling out of the plane. Eddie keeps Buck stable, supporting his balance.

“Too high, cap! Tell him to drop it!” said Eddie.

The plane did increase its decent, but it wasn’t enough. It passed over their heads as they tried to grab him, but he was just out of their reach. Buck, feeling frustrated, shouted over the radio: “Dang it, cap, we missed him! Too high and too fast!”

Buck noted that he saw the aeroplane taking a turn and head back to the beginning of the runway to line up, as did the fire truck. The plane definitely looked lower than it did on the initial attempt.

“Buck, Eddie, you have one shot at this,” Bobby told them over the radio.

“No pressure then,” Buck quipped, sarcastically.

The plane continued its decent and got closer and closer to Buck and Eddie on the truck. Fifty feet up, they stood up to position. Buck lets Bobby know of visual contact, forty feet, they get ready to grab him, thirty feet, the turbulence starts buffering them more. Twenty feet left, then fifteen, ten... and Buck can grab hold of and Eddie pulls the release chord from the parachute.

They hear the plane touchdown on the runway as they pull Stefan into the plane as Eddie check his pulse. He feels cold to the touch after hanging out in the turbulence for that long.

“We got him!” said Eddie, after finding a pulse. Thankfully he was still alive after that ordeal, although there still remains the question on how much trauma he suffered due to this incident.

Once they came to a stop, Eddie and Buck carried him off the roof of the fire truck to where Hen and Chimney were waiting. They put Stefan on a stretcher and covered him in a metal blanket.

“Is he going to be okay?” asked the mother who was on the plane to go parachuting with her daughter.

“He'll fly again,” said Hen.

“Yeah,” said Chimney, “it just depends on whether he wants to.”

As Hen and Chimney wheeled him off to the ambulance, the daughter turned to speak to her mother.

“I hope this puts an end to your meddling mum, and your matchmaking,” she said, before walking off in a huff. The mother chose not to listen to her daughter. Instead she spoke to Buck and Eddie.

“Are you boys single?”

The pair of them had no words to say, apart from to look at each other in amazement. Her daughter, as well, looked utterly embarrassed before dragging her mother off to their car. Buck smiled at the absurdity of the question, and after everything they had just been through – that was the priority.

They finished taking off their protective gear, and walked back to the fire engine side-by-side, waiting for the end of the shift so they could go home and rest.

* * *

Buck hated hospitals. He truly and passionately hated them.

Unfortunately, not only given his line of work, but also the last hear of his life, he has had to get very used to being in hospital.

It was Thursday, and he had a check up at the hospital to see how his leg was doing after the screws had been removed. He’s learnt to fear for the worst, because last time he thought he would just be able to go straight back to work. That wasn’t the case.

He was sat in the doctor’s office waiting for the doctor to show up with the scan results. Waiting in his gown, he grabbed his phone from the table and sent a quick text message to Eddie.

_‘Waiting for my scan results, feeling like a nervous wreck at the moment.’_

Eddie replied: ‘ _I'm sure they’ll be fine, you haven’t had a problem in months. E x'_

Eddie was right, his leg hadn’t bothered him in so long. No twinges, cramps or embolisms since he was taken off blood thinners.

His waiting was over when the doctor entered the room. He was a kind African American man, about average height with hair growing grey. Buck had got to know him quite well over the last few trips to the hospital. 

“Mr Buckley.”

“Doc,” he greeted.

“I have the results of your scans.” Buck took a deep breath, awaiting the moment of truth. The doctor puts the images up on the screen so that Buck could see what was what.

“You can see here, on your legs, the bone has fused nicely where the screws were, and there’s minimal scar tissue.”

“I feel good, doc. I mean, I was standing on top of a _moving fire truck_ the other day and not even a twinge,” said Buck, joyfully.

“I'm going to pretend that I didn’t hear that part, I’m not interested in operating on your other leg.”

Buck gave a small chuckle at the doctor’s remark, but he went serious because of what he was going to ask next. He was hoping it will all be fine, but he really doesn’t know.

“So... what about that clots?” he asked, nervously.

The doctor changed to another slide from the scans on his leg, and to Buck’s relief he said: “Scans are clear. No sign of clots since we took you off the blood thinner – I think those screws were the source of your problem.”

“Ah, so, that’s it?” said Buck, not really believing what he was hearing – as if it was too good to be true. “They’re gone and, I don’t need to see you anymore?”

“Just as long as you don’t get crushed by another fire truck.”

“Ouch, too soon, doc,” Buck replied. He was light-heartedly joking, but he was also on a high if relief and happiness.

“Mr Buckley, it is my pleasure to give you, a clean bill of health. So, go get dressed, and get out of here.”

“Well, thank you, for everything,” said Buck, as he stood to leave the room. “No offence, but I hope I never see you again.” He really did, not anything about the doctor, but Buck hoped that he would not have another huge medical scare again. Honestly, the next time he goes into a hospital he hopes it’s for the birth of his child. He won’t admit that to anyone though.

“Hey, you never know.”

Buck stopped on his way to the door, turning around at the sarcastic comment from his doctor. “Really?” he said, before he walked out the door to get changed. He texted Maddie and Eddie the same message:

_‘Scans are clear! Clean bill of health!!’_

His sister replied first, immediately congratulating him and asking, more demanding, that he go to hers tonight so they can celebrate. He could use the time to spend with his sister, so he told her he would be there and changed into his clothes.

Once out of the hospital and in his jeep, his phone started ringing. It was Eddie.

“Hello, Mr Diaz,” he said, answering the phone call.

“Your scans are clear! I knew you would he okay!” he practically yelled down the phone.

“Okay, okay, Eddie, indoor voice please.”

“Sorry,” came Eddie’s reply, “I’m just so happy and relieved. Now we don’t have to worry about you and I can finally relax when you’re at work-"

Buck smiled into the phone as he heard how happy Eddie was that Buck was all clear. In truth, Buck felt so much lighter knowing that he didn’t have to worry anymore. And for Eddie to be that concerned, to show how much he cared – it made Buck flow inside.

“You can finally relax?” Buck interjected, “I’m the one who almost died twice... three times...”

“Technically four times.”

“Shut up, doofus,” Buck quipped up. He regrets telling Eddie that story about his first date with Abby.

“Ouch, then maybe I won’t ask you to come over to mine and celebrate tonight...” Eddie teased over the phone.

“Oh, so you want to _celebrate_ , huh?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say _no_...”

“Then I’ll have to,” said Buck, “Maddie has already asked me to go round to hers this evening. I think she’s grateful I’m okay.”

“Go then, don’t hold back because of me, you haven’t spent one-on-one time with her in ages.”

“You sure that’s okay-"

“Evan Buckley go and spend a good evening with your sister and have fun. I can handle being away from you tonight.”

“No, you can’t.”

“You’re right I can’t but I want you to spend time with Maddie, you already said you would. I’ll call you later, okay? Have fun.”

“Talk to you later,” said Buck as he hung up the phone. Buck felt this huge weight of uncertainty and worry being lifted, as he drove away from that hospital. He was clear, he didn’t have any medical conditions anymore. After being trapped by this for so long, he could finally be free.

* * *

A Buckley sibling night in usually involves two things. A lot of alcohol and a lot of gossip. Ever since Maddie moved to Los Angeles, she and Buck has made their nights together as regular an occurrence as they could with their work schedules. They hadn’t done one in a while, with Maddie spending more and more time with Chimney, so it was nice for them to celebrate Buck’s good results, just the two of them.

Buck was partially still weirded out by Maddie and Chimney's relationship – to be honest he will probably always feel that way. One of his best friends and his sister – it will always be slightly awkward. But there was another sort of him that was so relieved that she had him. Chimney is one of the nicest guys Buck has ever met, thoughtful and respectful, and he knows that he makes Maddie feel happy. Happy and safe. And after everything that she went through with her marriage to Doug, he was secure in the knowledge that she wasn’t alone anymore. That he wasn’t alone in worrying about her. A huge relief.

Buck showed up at Maddie’s around eight, after her shift had finished. He brought with him a large bottle of rosé, and Maddie said she would cook. _“It’s your celebration, you shouldn’t be cooking,”_ she said in response to his protests. He knew better than to argue with her when it comes to his health and wellbeing.

Buck knocked on Maddie’s door, and heard a “Come in!” from the inside. He stepped through the open doorway and found Maddie in her kitchen.

“Here, I brought this fir the evening,” he said, gesturing to the bottle of wine in his hand. He got two glasses out and popped the cork of the bottle. He handed one of the now full glasses to Maddie, who was still slaying over the stove.

“Is that...?”

“Rice and peas, yes, it is,” said Maddie, “I know it was your favourite from when you went to the Caribbean, so I went online and downloaded a recipe.”

“You’re too kind to me, Maddie, thank you,” said Buck, taking a sip of his wine and smelling in the scent of the dish.

“Oh, and that reminds me. As I was looking for recipes, I came across this video on TikTok. Some weird lady in England making rice and peas, but she said about not washing the rice-"

“That’s disgusting, why did she say that?”

“Because, and I quote; ‘the rice is in a bag so it’s not dirty’...”

“But... it isn’t about the rice being dirty it’s to wash away the starch.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” Maddie said, laughing. “You know what they say, you can’t cure stupidity.”

“Yeah, we know that given our line of work.”

The two of them continued their laughter and conversation throughout the evening, as Maddie served their dinner. They spoke about Maddie’s day at work, the bizarre calls she got that day, including one person who had slightly too many of their special brownies and thought their hair had turned to snakes. Buck sympathised with that one after their experience with LSD-laced brownies almost two years prior.

Then the conversation turned to their personal lives. No surprise, Chimney featured very heavily. Also, not a surprise, that Maddie brought up Buck’s _favourite_ topics again: his (lack of) dating life.

“So, in short I have absolutely no clue what I am going to do for his birthday.”

“You have time, Mads.”

“Two months is not time, it’s practically next week!” she exclaimed. She had been ranting about how she had no clue how to make his first birthday special since they became an official couple, and about how frustrating it is that men never seem to tell them want they want for these types of occasions. Buck noted that, as he spoke from experience, it wasn’t only men who were bad at doing that.

“Look, Maddie, you and Chimney are, like, the most well-matched couple that I have seen in a long time. You just work. And he loves spending time with you. So, even if you just spend the day together, that will be one heck of an amazing birthday for him.”

“Yeah, I just want to make it, memorable. After everything we’ve gone through together, he needs to know just how important he is.”

“And he will,” said Buck, “because you are a beautiful, intelligent, woman who will know what exactly to do when the time comes. Don’t overthink things, trust me, I know about that.” He was of course thinking about Eddie when he said that, and how he lost so much time with him by worrying over the possibility of rejection. What he doesn’t remember is that Maddie has no clue that they are together.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked.

“Oh, um, you know, just when I was trying to move on from Abby,” he lied smoothly, “I wasted so much time hanging on to what could have been, waiting for her to return, like I was still caught up in her circle. I could have worked on myself in that time instead.” _I hope she brought that._

“Oh, yeah, I get that. Kind of like how I wish I moved on from Doug a bit sooner, how much time I lost because of him,” said Maddie. Buck knew it wasn’t exactly the same, and that it was no means Maddie’s fault. But now the thing she is annoyed about the most is the fact that she let Doug take up so much of her early adulthood.

But then the selfish part of his mind is blowing a huge sigh of relief that she didn’t question the Abby reference after two years.

“You’ve come along way, Maddie, I’m proud of you,” said Buck, standing while taking their glasses with him. They had finished the bottle of wine, and Buck still wasn’t quite done drinking just yet. “Margaritas?” he asked, with Maddie responding with nodding her head yes.

Buck sorted out the Margaritas in the kitchen, and come back to the living room where he handed Maddie hers.

“Thanks, for listening to me rant about Chimney’s birthday.”

“That’s what brothers are for,” he replied.

“Yeah, but,” Maddie began, “it can’t be the easiest for you to talk about, given...”

_Oh no. Oh no._

_Oh, heck to the no._

“What are you talking about?” Buck asked, timidly, already dreading the inevitable response that was coming his way.

“Come on, Evan, I’m worried about you.”

_There it is._

“Maddie, how many times do I need to tell you, I’m fine,” he protested, much to no avail.

“And how many times do I need to tell you that big sister knows best,” Maddie retorted.

“Really?”

“Okay, that was lame but I’m not backing down from this point. You’re twenty-eight and you’re not getting any younger-"

“Harsh,” he said, but he quieted down after he saw the glare he received from his sister for interrupting her.

“My _point_ is,” Maddie continued, “that you don’t have a plan yet. You’re single and childless, and that would be okay if you are a person who didn’t want marriage or children but I know that you are not that person.” Buck cursed that Maddie knew him so well, and that yes, he was broody as fuck, but he was fine because he had Eddie and Christopher. “I mean, most people are looking for people to settle down with or looking at alternative family planning options. Have you looked at the brochures I sent you?”

“Maddie, seriously, you do not need to try and sort out my future for me. I am fine being single and childless right now. I have just got a clean bill of health; I don’t think I should jump into a commitment so soon.”

This was only a half truth. He really didn’t think that he should settle into anything too big for him before he was ready. What he didn’t let on to Maddie was that he was so ready, ready to settle down, with Eddie, whenever they were prepared. But he can’t let her twig on to his happiness and new-found domestic life, so he feigns that of a single bachelor for a little longer.

 _I’m doing this because Eddie isn’t ready,_ he tells himself, although really, all Buck really wants is to shout it from the rooftops how completely head over heels he has fallen for that man. But he understands how daunting it is, so if Eddie isn’t ready, he’ll wait. He’ll wait until hell freezes over just to spend his life with him.

“Buck... Buck!” he hears Maddie shout from across the table, snapping him out of his deep thought. “Just, have a look, at dating sites or adoption agencies, something. Oh, I could set you up with someone from work!”

“No!” he said firmly. “Maddie, I do not want to be set up with anyone, thank you very much. Do not even go there.”

“You need to move on, Evan.”

“What did I just say, I have moved on from Abby!”

“I wasn’t talking about her,” Maddie trailed off, leaving Buck feeling a mix of both confusion and dread at what was about to said.

“What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly, a sense of dread creeping through the depths of his stomach as he waited for her response. He had a front he knew what was going to be said, but still, he didn’t know how she would-

“I was talking about how you need to move on from your major crush on Eddie."

_Shit._

“Okay, I do not have a major crush on Eddie,” Buck lied.

“You’re not a good liar, Buck.”

“No, I’m not a good liar but this is none of tour concern. I am free to be a fool if I want to stay caught up in my emotions for him, and I don’t need my big sister to have to sort it out for me,” he said, rather coldly.

“Sorry that I care about you hurting yourself, then.”

“No, Maddie, I’m sorry, that came out more coldly than I intended it to. But I still say this: do not interfere in my love life.”

Little did he know, that plans had already began forming in Maddie’s mind, and that over the next few days she would, in fact, try and set Buck up. After all, what kind of a big sister would she be if she didn’t meddle in every aspect of his life?

They moved on to other trains of conversation, with Buck naïvely thinking that Maddie would stay out of his business. He left at about ten-thirty, arriving back at his around eleven o’clock.

* * *

Once he arrived back at his apartment, he made some herbal tea and fried to stay awake a little bit longer, as he wasn’t at work until ten o'clock in the evening the next day. He turned the l1ights off downstairs once it struck midnight, sleep already overcoming him.

He changed into some full-length jogging bottoms and climbed into bed and turned on his phone lock screen. Three notifications:

One: A text from Eddie; _‘Hope you have a good evening, talk tomorrow xx'._

Two: A news notification, the US President saying something idiotic about bleach and disinfectant.

It was the last notification that made Buck feel a little dizzy. It was a notification from his bank:

_Your standing order of two hundred dollars to Carla Price is due to go out tomorrow due to recent payments._

Palms a little clammy, he types out a reply to Eddie, promising that he will talk to him tomorrow. He also swipes away the bank notification, he really doesn’t need another reminder of that payment. He prefers to pretend it doesn’t happen at all, pushing it out of his mind. It would always complicate things if it came to light, especially since he and Eddie began their relationship.

He just hopes he won’t have to explain this to anyone else.

* * *

_Sometimes you’re not just caught between the truth and the lie. Sometimes you’re caught in a pattern, a downward spiral that takes over your life. Sometimes it’s between doing what your brain thinks is best for you and what your heart most endears. And sometimes you can be caught between coming clean, or trying to protect the ones you love._

_Not all lies are malicious. Some of them come from a good, but misguided place. Trying to do the right thing without wanting them to know. Believing it to be the right thing to do. Even if there’s a apart of you deep down that knows, that once you do finally get caught, it will just cause the pain to hurt that much more, than if you had been honest from the beginning._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think Buck's hiding? You can speculate but I'm not answering anything. All will come clear in the future though.
> 
> Also I am so so so sorry about the long time between updates. Chapter 5 was difficult to write it stooped me actually publishing this one. Next chapter will be out within a month, I'm not making any promises.
> 
> Also yes I did make reference to that tiktok and that idiotic US president.
> 
> Hoel you and your families are all well. Stay safe, stay well and please, stay indoors a little while longer.
> 
> (And please don't ingest bleach, seriously do not I do not want people to be harmed)


End file.
